Saturday, May 27, 2006
its late...and im a blog fanatic once again
Today has been quite unproductive.Gosh...to think about it now, i did little but a english paper 1,which i didnt even finish. My timetable has proven to be rather impossible? actially no...
whatever now, why do i always feel all the forces of the earth is working against me.Feeling that i'm not working hard enough at all.
for example, today, i went home, had lunch.timetable said i will start at 2 but i slept through.I will not take lunch at the sofa tmr.I struggled to complete paper 1.The speech format not memorised.I wonder what mr Ravi would be saying.Tongue lashing no but an expression of disappointment is inevitable.
I feel that ive let all ppl who believe in me down.I lost it all for chem, for physics.the interest in chem is not there anymore..physics yes.
ok..pessimism is extending its wrath.
Also, i realise that i'm quick at forming sarcastic remarks or some evil remarks that would hurt ppl.MW asked me this when he talked to me...I believe it was due to the fact that i'm bitter about a lot of things,hence the sarcastic tone.
Truly, i realise now thanking God when we;re going through a tough time is hard.I could not do it.I burst out in sobs when i tried to.
Ok, its late enough, my schedule starts 9 tmr.I need a good sleep.
Today has been quite unproductive.Gosh...to think about it now, i did little but a english paper 1,which i didnt even finish. My timetable has proven to be rather impossible? actially no...
whatever now, why do i always feel all the forces of the earth is working against me.Feeling that i'm not working hard enough at all.
for example, today, i went home, had lunch.timetable said i will start at 2 but i slept through.I will not take lunch at the sofa tmr.I struggled to complete paper 1.The speech format not memorised.I wonder what mr Ravi would be saying.Tongue lashing no but an expression of disappointment is inevitable.
I feel that ive let all ppl who believe in me down.I lost it all for chem, for physics.the interest in chem is not there anymore..physics yes.
ok..pessimism is extending its wrath.
Also, i realise that i'm quick at forming sarcastic remarks or some evil remarks that would hurt ppl.MW asked me this when he talked to me...I believe it was due to the fact that i'm bitter about a lot of things,hence the sarcastic tone.
Truly, i realise now thanking God when we;re going through a tough time is hard.I could not do it.I burst out in sobs when i tried to.
Ok, its late enough, my schedule starts 9 tmr.I need a good sleep.
Friday, May 26, 2006
i realise that i could never say the deepest, darkest secrets here.ok, i have about 10 mins to blog.i'll make it a quick one, hopefully.
Ok, i saw Mr ravi yesterday.I expected the meeting to go another way but well, i understood why it was how it was.I know i'm being very vague. the problem was that it was so technical i didnt know why i was there.Obviously the marks speak for the subjects themselves. He didnt need to tell my dad the technical parts of the the subjects right?Would it help?I hardly think so. I don't understand why the school asked the so-called weaker students to see the HOD.It doesnt make a difference because the HOD seems extremebly detached with the students. Sometimes, they are speaking regarding what they think they know based on the report book and not what the problem is really about. I wished my dad could have seen other teachers, for examples, my science teachers.Oh well nvm
The thing that hit home was how other teachers remarked. I didnt know why i was suddenly emotional that day. I was not suppose to shed tears. I didnt want to be exact. But I couldnt help it all the same.I was so engulfed in tears i had to went to the toilet to let it out.I was grateful the toilet was deserted.
You know what, the teachers have so much faith in me.So much that i was strengthened by them because i was rather surprised by some of the teachers' remarks. Not surprised because they were bad, but because they were otherwise.With so much faith and confidence put on me, how could i not try harder and do well?If it is not for my own shake, it is for them, the teachers and my parents definitely. Sometimes, having to do something for others in spite of your own weakness gives us more strength and courage than we ever know.
OK,i have to go...i just swam..felt good. I just had my ice-cream too...felt good =))
Ok, i saw Mr ravi yesterday.I expected the meeting to go another way but well, i understood why it was how it was.I know i'm being very vague. the problem was that it was so technical i didnt know why i was there.Obviously the marks speak for the subjects themselves. He didnt need to tell my dad the technical parts of the the subjects right?Would it help?I hardly think so. I don't understand why the school asked the so-called weaker students to see the HOD.It doesnt make a difference because the HOD seems extremebly detached with the students. Sometimes, they are speaking regarding what they think they know based on the report book and not what the problem is really about. I wished my dad could have seen other teachers, for examples, my science teachers.Oh well nvm
The thing that hit home was how other teachers remarked. I didnt know why i was suddenly emotional that day. I was not suppose to shed tears. I didnt want to be exact. But I couldnt help it all the same.I was so engulfed in tears i had to went to the toilet to let it out.I was grateful the toilet was deserted.
You know what, the teachers have so much faith in me.So much that i was strengthened by them because i was rather surprised by some of the teachers' remarks. Not surprised because they were bad, but because they were otherwise.With so much faith and confidence put on me, how could i not try harder and do well?If it is not for my own shake, it is for them, the teachers and my parents definitely. Sometimes, having to do something for others in spite of your own weakness gives us more strength and courage than we ever know.
OK,i have to go...i just swam..felt good. I just had my ice-cream too...felt good =))
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Its not exactly the best to blog,especially when i'm using one of the most difficult keyboard ever.Like gosh, why izzit so hard ust to press every single letter down.Cheapskate.
Anyway, I was reminiscing a lot lately.Every time im alone,especially when i'm travelling, it is extremely hard to restrain my thoughts from thinking about the past.It is hard, when the time is now.There are so many things i have to do but i'm not disciplined enough.My results were beyond the nightmares I thought about.I'm not sad because ive let myself down.I'm sad because the people that believe in me are betrayed, disappointed(or will be disappointed)I cant stand them being angry, asking themselves, or me, or blaming themselves for what has happened.I hate it.
It is funny though.I'm not that sad when the results were out.Somehow i expect that so i guess i wasnt too shocked by it all.I realised that the other times i was disappointed is because i expected too much and hence the great disappointment that comes with it.
Today i got my french back.Quite satisfied.A2 but still, the important was i improved in the area i was weak.But now there are other areas to be improved upon :S Oh wellz...
You know i think i about him too much that i would drive myself crazy someday.I hate this so much.I wonder if it is love tat i see or izzit some sort of disillusion im seeing. I hate being so trapped, so deprived, so desperate...
You know what, there is always this feeling that feel, that i need someone there for me all the time, to tell me how to go through all these.Yes, God is there.He is a great comfort but physically too, I just this immense desire for someone to hold me and tell me it will all right..And i wish it was him.
Christine, wake up from your freaking dream because you cant freaking do a thing about.And because he will never be there for you when u need him. All hes been doing is to play with your feelings because he knows hes someone to you.Let the freaking guy go free and get yourself out of this mess.OR ELSE...
Anyway, I was reminiscing a lot lately.Every time im alone,especially when i'm travelling, it is extremely hard to restrain my thoughts from thinking about the past.It is hard, when the time is now.There are so many things i have to do but i'm not disciplined enough.My results were beyond the nightmares I thought about.I'm not sad because ive let myself down.I'm sad because the people that believe in me are betrayed, disappointed(or will be disappointed)I cant stand them being angry, asking themselves, or me, or blaming themselves for what has happened.I hate it.
It is funny though.I'm not that sad when the results were out.Somehow i expect that so i guess i wasnt too shocked by it all.I realised that the other times i was disappointed is because i expected too much and hence the great disappointment that comes with it.
Today i got my french back.Quite satisfied.A2 but still, the important was i improved in the area i was weak.But now there are other areas to be improved upon :S Oh wellz...
You know i think i about him too much that i would drive myself crazy someday.I hate this so much.I wonder if it is love tat i see or izzit some sort of disillusion im seeing. I hate being so trapped, so deprived, so desperate...
You know what, there is always this feeling that feel, that i need someone there for me all the time, to tell me how to go through all these.Yes, God is there.He is a great comfort but physically too, I just this immense desire for someone to hold me and tell me it will all right..And i wish it was him.
Christine, wake up from your freaking dream because you cant freaking do a thing about.And because he will never be there for you when u need him. All hes been doing is to play with your feelings because he knows hes someone to you.Let the freaking guy go free and get yourself out of this mess.OR ELSE...
Friday, May 19, 2006
Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
En francais
Aujourd'hui, je vais peu changer du format. Comme tu peut deja voir, je blog en francais. Je pense qu'il est methode excéllente de practiquer ton francais. Un peu moins vite, mais néanmois efficace.
Alors, qu'est ce que j'ai fait aujourd'hui? Pas vraiment beaucoup. Je n'ai que revisé le francais et j'étais productive je crois parce que je peut bien rappeler la plupart de vocabulaire que j'ai apprise. J'ai ce livre que j'ai acheté il y a longtemps mais je ne l'ai jamais lu. Donc, aujourd'hui, j'ai passé beaucoup de temps avec ce livre. Ceci a prouvé temps bien passé parce qu'il y a des tas de mots utiles pour mes essaies.
Apart de celle-ci, Rien n'a passé a l'ecole. L'autres sec 4s etaient occupees avec leurs cours chinois intensif. A resultat de ca, j'avais de temps libre pour moi-meme. Ah oui, le choeur a pris le photo ensemble. Ca m'a irritate car nous avous passe beaucoup de temps attendre lorsqu'il faisait tres chaud.
Je ne suis pas encore bien preparee pour le controle demain mais je me sens faire rien maintenant. Apres tout, comme Priscilla m'a dit, peut-etre les controles ne comptent pas sur la carte du rapport et j'ai deja fait environ 4 ou 5 heures de francais. C'est assez nest pas? Je ne sais pas.
Il n'est pas sur l'internet maintenant. J'eprouve peu triste mais il n'y a rien de faire quand meme. Peut-etre Il faut je quitte lui penser. Il mieux vaut laisser tout ca dans la passe,non? Je suis fatique franchement.A jour de jour, tout ce que je peut faire est penser a lui, meme si je sais qu'il ne me pense jamais. Je suis bete non? Ah mais je suis humaine aussi. Et comme une humane, on aime et on crie. On est ravi et on se sens triste.Les emotions...sont tres compliques, et quand je trouve en comprendre, je suis perdue, comme maintenant.
Une avantage d'ecrire en francais est personne(sauf lesquels qui font le francais bien sur mais c'est limite) ne comprendre ce que j'ai ecrit. Une bonne idee de cacher des sombres secrets que tu veut personne de savoir. Mais pour ce fois, ce n'est pas mon intention.
Ah, it faisait tard et je dois aller.Faire une devine!Reviser le francais, quel l'autre!
Pour lesquels qui ne comprennent rien, try a translator =))
Alors, qu'est ce que j'ai fait aujourd'hui? Pas vraiment beaucoup. Je n'ai que revisé le francais et j'étais productive je crois parce que je peut bien rappeler la plupart de vocabulaire que j'ai apprise. J'ai ce livre que j'ai acheté il y a longtemps mais je ne l'ai jamais lu. Donc, aujourd'hui, j'ai passé beaucoup de temps avec ce livre. Ceci a prouvé temps bien passé parce qu'il y a des tas de mots utiles pour mes essaies.
Apart de celle-ci, Rien n'a passé a l'ecole. L'autres sec 4s etaient occupees avec leurs cours chinois intensif. A resultat de ca, j'avais de temps libre pour moi-meme. Ah oui, le choeur a pris le photo ensemble. Ca m'a irritate car nous avous passe beaucoup de temps attendre lorsqu'il faisait tres chaud.
Je ne suis pas encore bien preparee pour le controle demain mais je me sens faire rien maintenant. Apres tout, comme Priscilla m'a dit, peut-etre les controles ne comptent pas sur la carte du rapport et j'ai deja fait environ 4 ou 5 heures de francais. C'est assez nest pas? Je ne sais pas.
Il n'est pas sur l'internet maintenant. J'eprouve peu triste mais il n'y a rien de faire quand meme. Peut-etre Il faut je quitte lui penser. Il mieux vaut laisser tout ca dans la passe,non? Je suis fatique franchement.A jour de jour, tout ce que je peut faire est penser a lui, meme si je sais qu'il ne me pense jamais. Je suis bete non? Ah mais je suis humaine aussi. Et comme une humane, on aime et on crie. On est ravi et on se sens triste.Les emotions...sont tres compliques, et quand je trouve en comprendre, je suis perdue, comme maintenant.
Une avantage d'ecrire en francais est personne(sauf lesquels qui font le francais bien sur mais c'est limite) ne comprendre ce que j'ai ecrit. Une bonne idee de cacher des sombres secrets que tu veut personne de savoir. Mais pour ce fois, ce n'est pas mon intention.
Ah, it faisait tard et je dois aller.Faire une devine!Reviser le francais, quel l'autre!
Pour lesquels qui ne comprennent rien, try a translator =))
Monday, May 15, 2006
French mugging and the random things
Today was the most amazing day.I dont even know why i came to school.Probably for the air-con and to know that i have a day-off tmr :S
Anyway i was quite productive mugging french.As i predicted, once i started the engine, i was captivated by french.It didnt feel bored,just tired after a while.Yay, my love for french has found its way home.Honestly i never stopped loving the language.It was just procastination that got in the way.Now im sort of back on track for the time being.I still have a few days to mug for it and get a good grades.I'm determined ok.I cant let this controle slip out of my hand like the last one.Total embarassment i tell you.
Well what else is here today...I watched fantastic 4.I wasnt so fantastic to be honest.I didnt like the logic of the storytelling but i like the characters and i just love watching heroes defeating villains.Classic but somewhat addictive.
I had french tuition.productive.I did my work so there was more things to go over during the lesson.And I like the entire thing.Sighz..I love french.Did i say that already??? lol
Right now, my motivation to start mugging french again is low.All right, i will eventually get to it.But right now, the temptation of slacking is just too great to resist.Also,i'm deperate for songs so yeah...i'm just checking out websites and songs.yupz
Well, as i'm free now,I'm just caught by the whirlwind to write some exposition stuff i've long haulted.It was something i enjoyed doing in the past but i'm not sure i still do now.At least, I still love the current affairs and the all cheem analogies and theories.Ok here goes..
Politics in singapore- a joke or what?
Despite the goverment effort to educate the young about politics in singapore being all serious and formal, the tone taken by generation y is unfortunately indifferent.I doubt it was a big agenda on any teen's list to know the latest happening of the recent election, but it did generate some conversations among youths i'm sure. After all, singapore youths are getting more politically informed, and hopefully, more involved.
Youths, which are defined as people between the age of 13 to 25 and for those who feel that they that age, need only so much to be concerned with singapore politics.In reality, who cares?What the motivation for caring anyway.For some, it is a complete waste of time.For others, like me peharps, it is quite a channel of entertainment, good or bad it had to depend. No incentives are given for people who take a serious stand about this thing. They will not get to vote, not in at least another 5 years.They might never be a voter because the dont stay in a GRC that is likely to be contested(like me,tanjong pagar has no hope of seeing some excitement).Even if they will get to vote, it is of no big issue.Why? the winner will be PAP for sure.Thats probably why many younger voters go for opposition.Yeah, we're bored of the same ole party's monolopy rule of the nation.Where is democracy??? one might dare to cry.
Well, the opposition lost hands down.I thought they might be able to win more seats this year due to some strong show in some single-member constituencies.My hope had to vanish. Apparently singaporeans play it safe after all the big hoo haa of opposition's must-have presence. It is boring no?I would vote for opposition too if you ask me.If there is no check and balances as the newspaper reported daily, God knows what those PAP politicans can do.I'm not doubting their integrity,because singapore is not what it is today because of some crooks running the country.But i'm doubting their human err and their inevitable desire to do something unrighteous,due to one fact that they are homosapiens. Look at the NKF saga. I thought they had it coming.I did not donate a single cent to the charity,and i dont regret that, ever.
Most teens dont even know what politics is.Most cant be bothered at all because it is a totally uncool, uninteresting and cheem subject which is not necessary to be undertaken. Why waste precious time and energy that could be spent on more fruitful trips of shopping? Oh not to forget that the youths that are informed mostly limited themselves to guys and people who are supposedly intellectual.Oh well.
Okie, thats all.I'm bored of blogging now.ciao!
Anyway i was quite productive mugging french.As i predicted, once i started the engine, i was captivated by french.It didnt feel bored,just tired after a while.Yay, my love for french has found its way home.Honestly i never stopped loving the language.It was just procastination that got in the way.Now im sort of back on track for the time being.I still have a few days to mug for it and get a good grades.I'm determined ok.I cant let this controle slip out of my hand like the last one.Total embarassment i tell you.
Well what else is here today...I watched fantastic 4.I wasnt so fantastic to be honest.I didnt like the logic of the storytelling but i like the characters and i just love watching heroes defeating villains.Classic but somewhat addictive.
I had french tuition.productive.I did my work so there was more things to go over during the lesson.And I like the entire thing.Sighz..I love french.Did i say that already??? lol
Right now, my motivation to start mugging french again is low.All right, i will eventually get to it.But right now, the temptation of slacking is just too great to resist.Also,i'm deperate for songs so yeah...i'm just checking out websites and songs.yupz
Well, as i'm free now,I'm just caught by the whirlwind to write some exposition stuff i've long haulted.It was something i enjoyed doing in the past but i'm not sure i still do now.At least, I still love the current affairs and the all cheem analogies and theories.Ok here goes..
Politics in singapore- a joke or what?
Despite the goverment effort to educate the young about politics in singapore being all serious and formal, the tone taken by generation y is unfortunately indifferent.I doubt it was a big agenda on any teen's list to know the latest happening of the recent election, but it did generate some conversations among youths i'm sure. After all, singapore youths are getting more politically informed, and hopefully, more involved.
Youths, which are defined as people between the age of 13 to 25 and for those who feel that they that age, need only so much to be concerned with singapore politics.In reality, who cares?What the motivation for caring anyway.For some, it is a complete waste of time.For others, like me peharps, it is quite a channel of entertainment, good or bad it had to depend. No incentives are given for people who take a serious stand about this thing. They will not get to vote, not in at least another 5 years.They might never be a voter because the dont stay in a GRC that is likely to be contested(like me,tanjong pagar has no hope of seeing some excitement).Even if they will get to vote, it is of no big issue.Why? the winner will be PAP for sure.Thats probably why many younger voters go for opposition.Yeah, we're bored of the same ole party's monolopy rule of the nation.Where is democracy??? one might dare to cry.
Well, the opposition lost hands down.I thought they might be able to win more seats this year due to some strong show in some single-member constituencies.My hope had to vanish. Apparently singaporeans play it safe after all the big hoo haa of opposition's must-have presence. It is boring no?I would vote for opposition too if you ask me.If there is no check and balances as the newspaper reported daily, God knows what those PAP politicans can do.I'm not doubting their integrity,because singapore is not what it is today because of some crooks running the country.But i'm doubting their human err and their inevitable desire to do something unrighteous,due to one fact that they are homosapiens. Look at the NKF saga. I thought they had it coming.I did not donate a single cent to the charity,and i dont regret that, ever.
Most teens dont even know what politics is.Most cant be bothered at all because it is a totally uncool, uninteresting and cheem subject which is not necessary to be undertaken. Why waste precious time and energy that could be spent on more fruitful trips of shopping? Oh not to forget that the youths that are informed mostly limited themselves to guys and people who are supposedly intellectual.Oh well.
Okie, thats all.I'm bored of blogging now.ciao!
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Spring time cleaning
The old layout has to go for 3 reasons:
1)It's difficult to navigate(which has amazingly proved to be very helpful only once)
2)Its dark, down and doesn't reflect my state of mind
3)I'm bored with black
The new one is colourful, and yeah, I like the theme that goes with it.There was another that was better in terms of design but it couldnt work, so I settled for this.I thought it's all right anyway.
Guys say girls emo-blog all the time.Well I say what is so memorable about daily activities that they need a space on the WWW and deserve your time and energy?I don't get that.For me, this is more of a diary than journal.I'm emotional.When my bottle of feelings have overflowed, i come here and release the pressure.But i never seem to have the bottle empty. Thoughts of many things cross my mind at all time.Its hard to keep track, and its a challenge to keep them checked.Sometimes they run wild of crazy ideas, wandering dreams and endless negativism.If i don't control myself, negativism will swallow me whole.And I'm not going to let that happen.Ever.
The exams are over(yay!) but as i put in my nick , the nightmare has only just begun with results out soon.I screwed up so badly i cant bring myself to say anything about it.I can only thank God for pulling my through and giving strength,mental and physical.I give all my thanks to my mom, who was there and to help and to care.Without her to plan my time and norish me during those troubled weeks, I would have suffered from a serious breakdown.Mom, you're the best.
I still missed him.WHY? i hate it gosh. I hate wasting my energy on something that is disillusional, fruitless peharps and not worth it somehow.Why must i care?I why must i worry and miss him when he felt none of these?Why am i the only one doing the feeling?I sux to know u care more than him,because it means u will hurt more, much much more.I dont even know if it is love i'm experiencing,having.I don't know if love means this.If it does, then it's way too much for one person,for such a period of time.But am i the one to blame?When I listened to sally's long-distance relationship, i was deeply inspired.You can't give it up that easily.You have to hold on to it, for as long as it could last.You have to give him, it, yourself a chance in this thing called love.I wasn't that patient I guess. After all, the time i spent waiting isnt that long compared to many others.And that is the problem.Had i been complete forshaken of him, with no word, no calls whatsoever for half a year, my feelings for him would have somehow diminished with time.But this is unfortunately not the case.Ming wei, you make life difficult for me.You don't even deserve this.It shoudnt be you whom i care about aarrghghh!!!
I can't stand today..Le jon was daoing or what...he came and yeah, i felt so wakward still.I hate it too.We should be friends and comfortable like we used to.Gosh...why??The movie sux...but yay, i had so much fun with the grp and with sheila and anyi later on.Sighz...i love the ex-con lol.A bunch of crappy,fun-loving caring ppl whom u can be completely yourself around.Nothing beats that.
Ok,i'm tired.yay, i blogged!Well, for an audience of myself, the almost close to none random visitor and a few misc others, this blog is far from existence.Thanks to that fact, I'm being more open here.I dont even care about mentiong his name here.If he had the patience to read through the entire entry, which i would be utterly bemused if thats the truth, he would be able to find his name.And that is unlikely.Ming wei doesnt care one less bit...why would he be here...
Okie,i'm falling off my chair...zzzz....laterz
1)It's difficult to navigate(which has amazingly proved to be very helpful only once)
2)Its dark, down and doesn't reflect my state of mind
3)I'm bored with black
The new one is colourful, and yeah, I like the theme that goes with it.There was another that was better in terms of design but it couldnt work, so I settled for this.I thought it's all right anyway.
Guys say girls emo-blog all the time.Well I say what is so memorable about daily activities that they need a space on the WWW and deserve your time and energy?I don't get that.For me, this is more of a diary than journal.I'm emotional.When my bottle of feelings have overflowed, i come here and release the pressure.But i never seem to have the bottle empty. Thoughts of many things cross my mind at all time.Its hard to keep track, and its a challenge to keep them checked.Sometimes they run wild of crazy ideas, wandering dreams and endless negativism.If i don't control myself, negativism will swallow me whole.And I'm not going to let that happen.Ever.
The exams are over(yay!) but as i put in my nick , the nightmare has only just begun with results out soon.I screwed up so badly i cant bring myself to say anything about it.I can only thank God for pulling my through and giving strength,mental and physical.I give all my thanks to my mom, who was there and to help and to care.Without her to plan my time and norish me during those troubled weeks, I would have suffered from a serious breakdown.Mom, you're the best.
I still missed him.WHY? i hate it gosh. I hate wasting my energy on something that is disillusional, fruitless peharps and not worth it somehow.Why must i care?I why must i worry and miss him when he felt none of these?Why am i the only one doing the feeling?I sux to know u care more than him,because it means u will hurt more, much much more.I dont even know if it is love i'm experiencing,having.I don't know if love means this.If it does, then it's way too much for one person,for such a period of time.But am i the one to blame?When I listened to sally's long-distance relationship, i was deeply inspired.You can't give it up that easily.You have to hold on to it, for as long as it could last.You have to give him, it, yourself a chance in this thing called love.I wasn't that patient I guess. After all, the time i spent waiting isnt that long compared to many others.And that is the problem.Had i been complete forshaken of him, with no word, no calls whatsoever for half a year, my feelings for him would have somehow diminished with time.But this is unfortunately not the case.Ming wei, you make life difficult for me.You don't even deserve this.It shoudnt be you whom i care about aarrghghh!!!
I can't stand today..Le jon was daoing or what...he came and yeah, i felt so wakward still.I hate it too.We should be friends and comfortable like we used to.Gosh...why??The movie sux...but yay, i had so much fun with the grp and with sheila and anyi later on.Sighz...i love the ex-con lol.A bunch of crappy,fun-loving caring ppl whom u can be completely yourself around.Nothing beats that.
Ok,i'm tired.yay, i blogged!Well, for an audience of myself, the almost close to none random visitor and a few misc others, this blog is far from existence.Thanks to that fact, I'm being more open here.I dont even care about mentiong his name here.If he had the patience to read through the entire entry, which i would be utterly bemused if thats the truth, he would be able to find his name.And that is unlikely.Ming wei doesnt care one less bit...why would he be here...
Okie,i'm falling off my chair...zzzz....laterz
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