Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Its not exactly the best to blog,especially when i'm using one of the most difficult keyboard ever.Like gosh, why izzit so hard ust to press every single letter down.Cheapskate.
Anyway, I was reminiscing a lot lately.Every time im alone,especially when i'm travelling, it is extremely hard to restrain my thoughts from thinking about the past.It is hard, when the time is now.There are so many things i have to do but i'm not disciplined enough.My results were beyond the nightmares I thought about.I'm not sad because ive let myself down.I'm sad because the people that believe in me are betrayed, disappointed(or will be disappointed)I cant stand them being angry, asking themselves, or me, or blaming themselves for what has happened.I hate it.
It is funny though.I'm not that sad when the results were out.Somehow i expect that so i guess i wasnt too shocked by it all.I realised that the other times i was disappointed is because i expected too much and hence the great disappointment that comes with it.
Today i got my french back.Quite satisfied.A2 but still, the important was i improved in the area i was weak.But now there are other areas to be improved upon :S Oh wellz...
You know i think i about him too much that i would drive myself crazy someday.I hate this so much.I wonder if it is love tat i see or izzit some sort of disillusion im seeing. I hate being so trapped, so deprived, so desperate...
You know what, there is always this feeling that feel, that i need someone there for me all the time, to tell me how to go through all these.Yes, God is there.He is a great comfort but physically too, I just this immense desire for someone to hold me and tell me it will all right..And i wish it was him.
Christine, wake up from your freaking dream because you cant freaking do a thing about.And because he will never be there for you when u need him. All hes been doing is to play with your feelings because he knows hes someone to you.Let the freaking guy go free and get yourself out of this mess.OR ELSE...
Anyway, I was reminiscing a lot lately.Every time im alone,especially when i'm travelling, it is extremely hard to restrain my thoughts from thinking about the past.It is hard, when the time is now.There are so many things i have to do but i'm not disciplined enough.My results were beyond the nightmares I thought about.I'm not sad because ive let myself down.I'm sad because the people that believe in me are betrayed, disappointed(or will be disappointed)I cant stand them being angry, asking themselves, or me, or blaming themselves for what has happened.I hate it.
It is funny though.I'm not that sad when the results were out.Somehow i expect that so i guess i wasnt too shocked by it all.I realised that the other times i was disappointed is because i expected too much and hence the great disappointment that comes with it.
Today i got my french back.Quite satisfied.A2 but still, the important was i improved in the area i was weak.But now there are other areas to be improved upon :S Oh wellz...
You know i think i about him too much that i would drive myself crazy someday.I hate this so much.I wonder if it is love tat i see or izzit some sort of disillusion im seeing. I hate being so trapped, so deprived, so desperate...
You know what, there is always this feeling that feel, that i need someone there for me all the time, to tell me how to go through all these.Yes, God is there.He is a great comfort but physically too, I just this immense desire for someone to hold me and tell me it will all right..And i wish it was him.
Christine, wake up from your freaking dream because you cant freaking do a thing about.And because he will never be there for you when u need him. All hes been doing is to play with your feelings because he knows hes someone to you.Let the freaking guy go free and get yourself out of this mess.OR ELSE...
# posted by daydreamer @ 10:22 pm 
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