Saturday, February 19, 2005
Don't let those tears be seen,dont let them be seen...
I realise that i'm always accompanied by loneliness
My whole life i think
that wont change soon
u can be in class of 40 somethingm,and felt like you're alone,just you
this sux.
I have not blogged in this informal way for some time.I'm supposed to be mugging now, but my emotions have taken over for the time being.I cant concentrate on anything
I have really tried,and so God knows
Gosh, I miss Him
shall do online devotion now
before that...a poem for thoughts
Empty space you find
In a crowded place
Strange thoughts
Wondering if it's loneliness
Conquering
The wrath of solitude
Leave a shadow of darkness
In the heart of the wanderer
Whose heartbeats had weakened with time
Strange emotions I feel
I know they are real
I know they will come and go
Somehow I can't phantom their power
That grips so tight
I can't breathe
I just want to live
I just want to let go
I just want to be me
I could break down
I could crash
But God knows I'm strong
I can handle this!
Love, a present i can never open
A gift i can't receive
Nor can I give
Except for the one from God
Friends
Stay or Go
they don't really care
They won't be there
Or will they??
Life has turned this heart cold
So cold i'm numb
Feelings, thoughts, emotions
they dont matter
They won't matter
They will go
Will fade
With time
Forget me
When you have spread your wings and fly
Dont turn back
I wont let you see my cry
I wont let you know i have cried
I won't ever ever let you know
YOU can hurt me
Emotionally
Physically
Mentally
I'm drained
No more
No more...
My whole life i think
that wont change soon
u can be in class of 40 somethingm,and felt like you're alone,just you
this sux.
I have not blogged in this informal way for some time.I'm supposed to be mugging now, but my emotions have taken over for the time being.I cant concentrate on anything
I have really tried,and so God knows
Gosh, I miss Him
shall do online devotion now
before that...a poem for thoughts
Empty space you find
In a crowded place
Strange thoughts
Wondering if it's loneliness
Conquering
The wrath of solitude
Leave a shadow of darkness
In the heart of the wanderer
Whose heartbeats had weakened with time
Strange emotions I feel
I know they are real
I know they will come and go
Somehow I can't phantom their power
That grips so tight
I can't breathe
I just want to live
I just want to let go
I just want to be me
I could break down
I could crash
But God knows I'm strong
I can handle this!
Love, a present i can never open
A gift i can't receive
Nor can I give
Except for the one from God
Friends
Stay or Go
they don't really care
They won't be there
Or will they??
Life has turned this heart cold
So cold i'm numb
Feelings, thoughts, emotions
they dont matter
They won't matter
They will go
Will fade
With time
Forget me
When you have spread your wings and fly
Dont turn back
I wont let you see my cry
I wont let you know i have cried
I won't ever ever let you know
YOU can hurt me
Emotionally
Physically
Mentally
I'm drained
No more
No more...
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm
I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm
I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
Sunday, February 06, 2005
The plight of being extraordinary(or not)
I have resorted to this blog for comfort...
My life is really a black life.
I'm struggling to cope with the amount of activities, the homework given as well as random and sweeping comments which all happen in the campus of a school...duh.Honestly, I feel unusually alone and empty in a class i really like.People here don't care THAT much about grades.I can't stand the fact that all of them think i'm a god who get perfect marks ALL THE TIME.I dont...gosh...so people who think i do, please get off my back.(oh shoot this sounds so mean)
Its so hard for me to open up really.It's like there is a boundary btw me and my friends, my family members and even closest of friends.Ming wei is the only person i have told stuff too...at least he understands.It seems like he has been waiting for me to open up to him,because i always appear as a perfect,standardized,untouchable..human being.It's like it's finally the time for me to stop closing the door to my world.But i still do,to some extend.It's hard not to anyway.
I'm idolising Ms Tham.She's one of the most respected person i have had the previlege to meet and know.It seems like what Ms Tan said about 1 year ago about the fact that we need changes for the betterment of things is true...so true.
KKZ..thats it!i have to go mug at 3.30.have 15 more minutes to start an essay on chinese new year which i have a burning desire to write.
My life is really a black life.
I'm struggling to cope with the amount of activities, the homework given as well as random and sweeping comments which all happen in the campus of a school...duh.Honestly, I feel unusually alone and empty in a class i really like.People here don't care THAT much about grades.I can't stand the fact that all of them think i'm a god who get perfect marks ALL THE TIME.I dont...gosh...so people who think i do, please get off my back.(oh shoot this sounds so mean)
Its so hard for me to open up really.It's like there is a boundary btw me and my friends, my family members and even closest of friends.Ming wei is the only person i have told stuff too...at least he understands.It seems like he has been waiting for me to open up to him,because i always appear as a perfect,standardized,untouchable..human being.It's like it's finally the time for me to stop closing the door to my world.But i still do,to some extend.It's hard not to anyway.
I'm idolising Ms Tham.She's one of the most respected person i have had the previlege to meet and know.It seems like what Ms Tan said about 1 year ago about the fact that we need changes for the betterment of things is true...so true.
KKZ..thats it!i have to go mug at 3.30.have 15 more minutes to start an essay on chinese new year which i have a burning desire to write.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
When the music plays on
Sing that song with your heart
Sing as if there's no tomorrow
Bring that song fort
Like it's the music of your soul
Do you regret those moments you screwed?
Do you REALLY want to to make up
For what's lost?
Have we ever really done well?
Do I have an answer?
No
The time is here I can feel
The atmosphere I can sense
That nervousness in your voice
Dont give up dearies
Victory is near
If we hold on
If we never let go
No one can take it from us
The stage is where we belong
The stage is for us alone
Bring fort that song
The song of our spirits
Look to this day!
For today well-lived
Makes every yesterday,
a dream of happiness.
New every morning is the love
Our waking and up rising proves
Through darkness and sleep
Restored to life in power and thought...
You whose day it is makes it beautiful
You whose song it is makes it wonderful
You whose spirit it let it rise above
You whose voice it is bring them forward
One chance One hope One dream
Together
We will get there
Crescent Choir
[[ * dear ` God ]]
Letting go
Let it pass
Let it show
For once
I can be myself
For once
I'm not pretending
To be someone else
I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of making the grades
I just want to let go
Can you hold me back?
Can you keep me in check?
Can you show me the way
So I can escape from this place?
You think you know me?
You dont at all
You think you see all of me?
But what did you really see?
Sorry I let you down
sorry I have given up
Sorry I just cant hold back
these tears that are flowing down
One day I'll fly away
Levaing behind memories of yesterday
And from dreams to dreams
I'll remember the day
i can fly away
copyright©christinelek
Let it pass
Let it show
For once
I can be myself
For once
I'm not pretending
To be someone else
I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of making the grades
I just want to let go
Can you hold me back?
Can you keep me in check?
Can you show me the way
So I can escape from this place?
You think you know me?
You dont at all
You think you see all of me?
But what did you really see?
Sorry I let you down
sorry I have given up
Sorry I just cant hold back
these tears that are flowing down
One day I'll fly away
Levaing behind memories of yesterday
And from dreams to dreams
I'll remember the day
i can fly away
copyright©christinelek
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