Wednesday, August 01, 2007
You govern my life
I should not be blogging.Yeah.But I do realise I have to let it out.I need to say it out...if not verbally to someone, on msn to someone..then it must be here to this blog.Its been my faithful companion, alongside with God and a bunch of other angels(of all forms and kinds) that have guided me along since sec 2 when this blog is started.I have a feeling i will part with it soon, leaving this behind only as archive, one day lost in the thousands of files and links the world wide web contains.Those who find this blog, those you are reading, well,i thank you, and I thank God for you.
I need to get this out.its really bothering me too much. I do need to prioritise my time but yeah...reflection is important, almost as important as relationships, and hence, i will dedicate about 1/2 hour to it for today.Time is precious.And we never have enough time.Therefore, we have to make time.
I dont like being chased, not anymore at least.I'm being extremely frank for today.I think its time the words be spoken from the silent and mysterious one.Ive been stoning a lot in school these days..playing diplomatic games(as if i dont do it any other day) but yeah..its worning me out and i refuse to let anything wear me out except God and His work.Wait, maybe this is His work.Oh well, I'm not well, ascertain.Anyway, the idea is that, i'm not dumb.Thank you very much.I'm an excellent literature/HL english student that i believe most teachers would be quite fond to have.This, means, if you have not already known, i'm extremely sensitive.I pick up details most people ignore.I seek to understand the underlying meaning, the hidden emotions and of course, the intended intention of most(if not all) actions done towards and for me. Its getting on my nerves...that you are distractions and not a helpful force.Wait, you guys r not that bad actually, you did help me...but please dont accuse me of being "manipulative".I can be, and its in my human nature to do so.However, God, my Governor, said otherwise.All of your kindness I take note and have gratitude for, but i would have greater gratitude and love if you share that kindness with your fellow men.I'm a woman, though i do display characteristics unlike those of my species, I am a woman darn it.I'm not a lesbian,or bi or whatever Shakespearean texts are influencing a lot of people to think(including myself).I'm God's daughter.Enough said.
Wait, there is more.Lets clear it while i'm at it.I dont like selfishness, though i have the tendency to display it a lot of times...in the past and even now...we all do.I'm focused...because God asks me to and because I do have a greater goal and purpose in mind doing IB and finishing IB(hopefully well).Ive been tempted to go places and do things i like.One example would be to do PR in the states at my beloved UPenn or even Duke or Georgetown, or maybe even international relations at above mentioned and even more established American universities.I'm sticking to UK nevertheless.Why you all wonder??? Simply because I think its quite siao to do 8 years of Law...BLEAH.Although I appreciate the importance the US government and educators give to law(equal to med..the only other discipline to require pre-u or undergraduate studies before the actual thing itself), I do consider the bill i have to pay and the number of years i'll be away from this so-called home island, most important of all from loved ones.I love American culture, and i do believe it's a blessed country, and it is.But yeah, America can wait i suppose.So can France and maybe even Switzerland.Then again, God might surprise me with something else, you never know.
Lets clear another misconception.The last one, i promise.It comprises of one simple but hmm profound statement?This is quite clear and short .I shall repeat it..those who have heard/known it, you know it.Those lurking and hiding under the identity of your computer but are reading this in silent contemplation, read it well and understand it.My last request. I shall also help you with a headstart background info and analysis.
You can chase me, all you want(ok, maybe with proper procedures and etiquette) but in doing so, you are telling yourself one thing: you are strong, you are brave, you are hard-headed and stubborn, you are also foolish and quite blind.
But you will never catch me. To save yourself from unneccesary pain and heartbreaks and disappointment and whats not that comes with the situation, please try very hard to understand why such statement was formed in the first place.I'm not joking for once.Im quite serious.
I hope ive been entertaining, amusing to those who know and stern to those who dont.Wa lao.I'm not that great...i'm not very very special either,really.you haven't been looking around enough.Most importantly, I'm not some prize for you all to fight over, make a competition out and see at the end of the day who won.I'm a freaking human being thank you very much once again.To reach the depht of my heart and soul few could(beside God).Those few...I thank you.You are special.Please remember that.I'm opening up, but I need time, and I need God.Please allow me to do what I can, all i can for the time being.
Ive finished.Its been...enriching...for me and hopefully for the readers of this blog.I'm hugging it goodbye pretty soon.In the meantime,I'm hunting for a safer place to call home on the net.Suggestions anyone?(haha)
I need to get this out.its really bothering me too much. I do need to prioritise my time but yeah...reflection is important, almost as important as relationships, and hence, i will dedicate about 1/2 hour to it for today.Time is precious.And we never have enough time.Therefore, we have to make time.
I dont like being chased, not anymore at least.I'm being extremely frank for today.I think its time the words be spoken from the silent and mysterious one.Ive been stoning a lot in school these days..playing diplomatic games(as if i dont do it any other day) but yeah..its worning me out and i refuse to let anything wear me out except God and His work.Wait, maybe this is His work.Oh well, I'm not well, ascertain.Anyway, the idea is that, i'm not dumb.Thank you very much.I'm an excellent literature/HL english student that i believe most teachers would be quite fond to have.This, means, if you have not already known, i'm extremely sensitive.I pick up details most people ignore.I seek to understand the underlying meaning, the hidden emotions and of course, the intended intention of most(if not all) actions done towards and for me. Its getting on my nerves...that you are distractions and not a helpful force.Wait, you guys r not that bad actually, you did help me...but please dont accuse me of being "manipulative".I can be, and its in my human nature to do so.However, God, my Governor, said otherwise.All of your kindness I take note and have gratitude for, but i would have greater gratitude and love if you share that kindness with your fellow men.I'm a woman, though i do display characteristics unlike those of my species, I am a woman darn it.I'm not a lesbian,or bi or whatever Shakespearean texts are influencing a lot of people to think(including myself).I'm God's daughter.Enough said.
Wait, there is more.Lets clear it while i'm at it.I dont like selfishness, though i have the tendency to display it a lot of times...in the past and even now...we all do.I'm focused...because God asks me to and because I do have a greater goal and purpose in mind doing IB and finishing IB(hopefully well).Ive been tempted to go places and do things i like.One example would be to do PR in the states at my beloved UPenn or even Duke or Georgetown, or maybe even international relations at above mentioned and even more established American universities.I'm sticking to UK nevertheless.Why you all wonder??? Simply because I think its quite siao to do 8 years of Law...BLEAH.Although I appreciate the importance the US government and educators give to law(equal to med..the only other discipline to require pre-u or undergraduate studies before the actual thing itself), I do consider the bill i have to pay and the number of years i'll be away from this so-called home island, most important of all from loved ones.I love American culture, and i do believe it's a blessed country, and it is.But yeah, America can wait i suppose.So can France and maybe even Switzerland.Then again, God might surprise me with something else, you never know.
Lets clear another misconception.The last one, i promise.It comprises of one simple but hmm profound statement?This is quite clear and short .I shall repeat it..those who have heard/known it, you know it.Those lurking and hiding under the identity of your computer but are reading this in silent contemplation, read it well and understand it.My last request. I shall also help you with a headstart background info and analysis.
You can chase me, all you want(ok, maybe with proper procedures and etiquette) but in doing so, you are telling yourself one thing: you are strong, you are brave, you are hard-headed and stubborn, you are also foolish and quite blind.
But you will never catch me. To save yourself from unneccesary pain and heartbreaks and disappointment and whats not that comes with the situation, please try very hard to understand why such statement was formed in the first place.I'm not joking for once.Im quite serious.
I hope ive been entertaining, amusing to those who know and stern to those who dont.Wa lao.I'm not that great...i'm not very very special either,really.you haven't been looking around enough.Most importantly, I'm not some prize for you all to fight over, make a competition out and see at the end of the day who won.I'm a freaking human being thank you very much once again.To reach the depht of my heart and soul few could(beside God).Those few...I thank you.You are special.Please remember that.I'm opening up, but I need time, and I need God.Please allow me to do what I can, all i can for the time being.
Ive finished.Its been...enriching...for me and hopefully for the readers of this blog.I'm hugging it goodbye pretty soon.In the meantime,I'm hunting for a safer place to call home on the net.Suggestions anyone?(haha)
# posted by daydreamer @ 6:28 pm 
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]