Time to fly

Trash is called trash.Rubbish and trash are different.I'll do another trashing...trashing part 1 was relatively positive.Shall I go all out and be the extremist this time round?Maybe and maybe not.Once again, my typing ability doesnt really seem to prove itself that it can catch up to my thoughts.Whatever it is, i'll trash.Darn it.Ive not blogged for a few days.i dont exactly have a human bunch bag somewhere and i dont think my parents are tolerant enough to subject themselves to such rubbish.Either way, maybe the rubbish contains more valuable stuff that some people(or rather myself) think.Aha, we'll see.Lets do it in chronological order.Oh yes, Math portfolio is at stake whilst this entry is in production.Whatever man, i have....ok, yes, math portfolio will be one of the trash.Lets go.

• Work-DARN!I have backlogging and yeah, sometimes i ask myself why i cant be a bit, yes just a bit smarter so i can clear all my work like eistein.Wait, to be more specific,i need a male brain man. I need to learn to focus on one task and one task only and not to multi task so much.And wait, there were distractions like my cousins talking/gossiping and the food and the dunnowat and the fatigue that came from all the stupid things during the week which were mostly work-related stuff of cuz.Wait, yes, keyword being mostly.Go figure.The family has to be the stupid distraction too eh.But yes, I thank Mom for being superb mom and her generosity in buying cheesecake and all the food i need.I would rather she can help me to plan and organise my stuff sometimes.But then yes, i'm 18 and i should start proving to my parents/preparing for post-IB life that i can so go overseas and stay on my own.the most is i would miss them much and call home.Survivor instinct exists in everyone of us.Period.
• Screwed up numbering function by blogger/google.It shows again Microsoft is still pro at this stuff.And again why google or SOMEONE should stop google from owning everything.They own 50% of the info out there and hence 50% of research mat online belongs to them.Darn.Monopoly eh?Almost.(60% and above to be classified monopoly)
• Math portfolio SL-I'm sorry i was so mean to the SL people by going into their class declaring i would own.Well when i said so i do mean i would own the guys aha.But yeah, it takes me sometimes to find my perimeter and get settled down into the class with a much different atmosphere and individuals of very different degree of motivation for math.Why did i do math HL?I was being very practical.I thought of law school and wherever i would apply to.I thought too then of the combis ive asked around from different people on the surface of earth doing IB.Their combis show great balance.For example, Jeff Tai pres of general assembly of THIMUN 2005, student of International school of Beijing-a freaking brilliant guy-his combi was : Chem English...Econs(HL).It tells me you need different subjects to show your ability.Yes, Thats why i chose econs hist math.It shows i could do humanities and also math at the same time.My brain is not too loft-sided and i have more than just one talent.And oh, of course, the pure fact i could do math, the confidence gained from the 2 A1s in O level.It shows my ability.But of course, i lacked the most important requirement, passion.I have none of it.I need it.I wanted Wharton.I wanted UPENN. I need to know how to do math.Period.Now, back to the portfolio.It looks like a joke next to the HL one.Sorry, but yes it does.I empathise with HL people because its ALOT more difficult.And i now empathise with the SL people who are still having not much of a clue how it should be done.Actually, they are so much more fortunate, they have the HL people like me and many of their friends who wouldnt mind much to tell them some basic facts they need to know about doing a portfolio.I'm being well, complacent i suppose.But heck it, i did it before.I suffered and learnt.I better learn eh?My understanding of math increases after the math portfolio.So yes, its a good learning experience.
• Bethany-Lets skip first part of parade since i have not much to say about it except for some people seriously need to put what they learn into use and need to learn how to imitate others and learn.Drill exam marking was a mess thanks to poor organisation.But yes, people need to be given a chance to learn.I was thankful i was out of it, doing my very dear math portfolio and was greatly entertained by all the commotion that was going on, albeit being affected by very little.yes bethany, I met Tan Lifeng.I think we are again, similar people.Ok, i could see myself in her, which is the better part of it.All the very similar characteristics i can see in front of my eyes through another person.not bad.The bad part?Shes well ,another lynette tan.Another triple science student and another debator and another MGS girl.Shes brilliant, and so she should be.Its not like ive not met brilliant people.What really pissed me off was generalisation statements made without even a thought for others.It shows she might not have done literature, does little of counselling, or too much of natural science, or too up there to think about the people down here, or..simply..out of touch with girls our age who actually are not from the A level mentality system of education and whatever the gov has infused the students with...It shows too, she might be quite fortunate/unfortunate to not have met girls from other schools beside ahem the usual so-called high class schools.Wonderful.Hmm on the second note, shes prettier than pictures.She speaks good english too.
• The emo part of bethany- i miss my grandfather.i miss him a lot.I miss my aunt too.I see them in the folks/friends i met-again and new after a long time.I see the scenes of Glenseagles/Mount E in front of my eyes.I see too my aunt's face at the airport that day, my own face pressed against the class door waiving her farawell, never to see her again alive or death.I was absent during both funerals.I miss them so much. They would understand what i go through.I pray God, they are with you in heaven.Such people dont deserve hell.God, they dont.
• I might volunteer back to bethany, not that i need any more cas hours or it would help with application to law school but it might.Its so much more meaningful than doing some work at a law firm.We'll see.And then of course, its under ER, of which now i'm the unofficial boss.Good enough, i can do something about it...ER COM needs to meet pretty soon.
• I hate it that i cry. I still hate it even more when people see my cry, especially guys.I hate it man.They need Girls school 101 or First Aid lesson for Boys school.Wonderful, this idea has been floating in my mind for sometime..with enough support from the girls, the captain(which i will lobby for), it might be an idea for a drafted proposal/resolution. Petrina and Amanda both agree to it.More support, yep.

Ok, dinner beckons since i need food to sustain me through the night.I'm pissed off because of the fundamental being shaky again.I have so much bitterness.Today devotion on the bus led me back to Psalms 37:.... where i was told not to fret and let not anger and evil thoughts infiltrate the mind of a person because it could lead to harmful actions deemed disobedient to God.I will let it out more...pray more...and yes...come to Him more...this needs to go.

I'm holding on.for wat.i asked God again.Thank God for sheila, see you tmr.I cant wait to meet nic..again...But before that can be realised, i need to do my math portfolio.Ok.Chao.