Time to fly

In the midst of a high range of homework, fatigue and all other types of problems, i still the urge to blog.I have a lot less my mind these days, the fundamental blockage finally cleared, but yeah, now that its cleared, a new set of problems just have to arrive.On time, on task too.Life, is...interesting.

My brain is deep fried right now blah.I realise one actually need concentration and some sense of focus even for blogging.Ok...i'll just let my thoughts pour themselves out here without me trying to control them and see how it goes...Ive held a lot of thoughts inside my head these few days...and yeah,I cant stand them anymore.I really couldnt tell many people, and i realise people would find me weird/paranoid/self-centered if i do tell them.The few whom i could confine in, i thank you haha.

School-Yeah, my life revolves around it. what else is new.Yesterday though, was quite a day to remember.Despite my determination to reserve the thoughts/anxiety/excitement?? to the end of the day, i thought about it now and then during school hours.I'm normally quite focused when it comes to lesson time.History was emotional since we're doing the impacts of world war 1 by watching documentaries and through discussions...a lot of emotions and of course, all the things you associate war with but a lot more too.Econs-watched Commanding Hights which is prolly the most interesting educational documentary ive watched so far in the year..(ok, rise to evil for hitler was really cool stuff to).Anyway it was like as Ying Hao said, a HL History/Econs documentary.To see all the events of the 20th century coming together in the context of history and econs was really fascinating.However, the class..about 80% were sleeping through it, cos it was in the afternoon and well, people were zonked...so was i but yeah man, i was too interested to fall asleep haha. Anyway, where was i, yes, the thoughts...oh yes, it was about the officers' visit of course. I had no idea how it would turn out, but well, it sure didnt turn out the way i expected.Dinner(which was nothing really special but still the standard fish,meet a lot of veggie and other stuff) and wine were not exactly what i had in mind when they came.Anyway, they chatted over dinner and i was just stoning there, minding my own business by reading my book, occasionally talked as required and as i felt there was a need to.Man, Charles definitely managed to awe my parents, of course, with his acad achievements and also of the fact he looks so much more mature than my sister of the same age.Mrs lui was well, te lifesaver for me, thanks alot mrs Lui. i wont elaborate.Anyway, the 2 hour conversation went into a lot of directions but about the main thing, which was my well-being and acad concerns.Whatever that implies and indicate to the 2 of them about my family i would not want to know, but it indicates a lot of things about my parents to me.I think, i love them because God asks me to and i want to be obedient to Him.I love them because, for mom, the natural bond by blood and for my dad, out of gratitude...to me, its sad, it's...disappointing, but yeah, thats just the way it is.

More school matters.Sometimes, i have no idea what i do wrong.Sometimes I look around and wonder what people really think of me.Then again, i dont think i would want to know.There is so much entropy in almost every class.It takes determination, some sense of perseverence, a lot of diplomatic skills and focus to scrape through them.Econs has become my favourite now, thanks to the people around and to Mr James Ong.Thanks to the subject being so interesting too.At least, there are about 10 girls around. In times like this i want to thank the people of 5.15, especially the girls, although ahem, today, i was again the source of entertainment.

Okay , i have a lot of work but yeah, haha this is really happy problem now.I'm so on about all of them that now, the only think i ask God for is more energy.Sometimes i wish i could be a machine heh.Just sometimes.

Lastly, this is to Sheila dearie.
Love must be tough .
Let God take control and live for Him only
Love Him first and love Him the most
It's not easy but if it is, then it's not worth it
Let go and let God...yeah...overused phrase but i must use it again.
Things will work out in His time =)
To be honest, I too, wouldnt want to hold on
But I cant run...i have to face it and go through it
God, Sheila, has a purpose for everything He makes us go through.Take comfort yeah?




I'm blogging so freely again...why?I think i'm just being paranoid about people reading my blog.Because, i hope/believe/realise...the audience to this blog is smaller than i imagined it to be.But maybe....im wrong.