Sunday, August 12, 2007
I'll run
I want to run from this.everything.I want to run...again.To escapade...far away land.The thought of that has not left me for a long time now.
I want to call people but i refuse to do so.I want to call and i hesitate, thinking, what would i say, where do i begin, because tears will take over words for sure
I cry too much these days...and according to Dr James Dobson in his book Love must be tough(its not about just bgr love, its a great read for all christians about relationships)...he said theres nothing correct about a girl crying herself to sleep at night.It just means shes hurting emotionally, mentally and that could in turn bring great damage to her health and internal organs...i have no idea how big is the damage, but I can say ive been doing that.
I'm stressed and i dont want to be.I take comfort in the friends i have but at the end of the day, I think God would want me to deal with it head on.I have to
God keeps on telling me to let go, let go christine, let it go, forget it, forgive, tolerate...a little more...wait...izzit really God's voice...
The problem i'm still not yet explaining
Whats going on man.whats going on in BB
In school, at home
did i do something wrong, God did i?????
I feel like i did.But in one of the devotions, God you say Satan is all around with the mocking voice and telling me i'm cheated, that when i'm trying to do the right things all the troubles seem to have come.
I feel like quitting, and You pulls me back.
Why the hell should i quit...it makes nobody happy..nobody...including myself
I'll have to go through it and..yes...become strong(I'm listening to don moen)
8/10/04
My prayer book entry reads:
My themes
acts 9:3-16
the verse i picked out: I will show him how much he must suffer for my name-v16
....
I need an apology.We need some reconciliation...
i also need strategy...and strength...and time
and i dont have any of the above...except maybe strength...and still, faith in the fact He is in control.
I want to call people but i refuse to do so.I want to call and i hesitate, thinking, what would i say, where do i begin, because tears will take over words for sure
I cry too much these days...and according to Dr James Dobson in his book Love must be tough(its not about just bgr love, its a great read for all christians about relationships)...he said theres nothing correct about a girl crying herself to sleep at night.It just means shes hurting emotionally, mentally and that could in turn bring great damage to her health and internal organs...i have no idea how big is the damage, but I can say ive been doing that.
I'm stressed and i dont want to be.I take comfort in the friends i have but at the end of the day, I think God would want me to deal with it head on.I have to
God keeps on telling me to let go, let go christine, let it go, forget it, forgive, tolerate...a little more...wait...izzit really God's voice...
The problem i'm still not yet explaining
Whats going on man.whats going on in BB
In school, at home
did i do something wrong, God did i?????
I feel like i did.But in one of the devotions, God you say Satan is all around with the mocking voice and telling me i'm cheated, that when i'm trying to do the right things all the troubles seem to have come.
I feel like quitting, and You pulls me back.
Why the hell should i quit...it makes nobody happy..nobody...including myself
I'll have to go through it and..yes...become strong(I'm listening to don moen)
8/10/04
My prayer book entry reads:
My themes
acts 9:3-16
the verse i picked out: I will show him how much he must suffer for my name-v16
....
I need an apology.We need some reconciliation...
i also need strategy...and strength...and time
and i dont have any of the above...except maybe strength...and still, faith in the fact He is in control.
# posted by daydreamer @ 8:44 pm 
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