Time to fly

10/8/2007

All i once held dear (knowing you)
Music by Graham Kendrick

All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain
I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this

Knowing you, Jesus
Knowing you, there is no greater thing
You're my all, you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you, Lord

Now my heart's desire is to know you more
To be found in you and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All-surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh, to know the power of your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like you in your death, my Lord
So with you to live and never die


Proverbs 4: 20-27

"Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm." v25-26

I want to answer the questions posed by the author at the end but yeah, i feel like making a detour.OK fine, in my fickle-mindedness I've decided to answer the questions and then maybe give my own response from there.

Do I have a clear picture of the godly path before me? Why or why not?How does keeping my eyes on the goal help me stay on the straight path?

Hmmm question number 1.I do actually.I'm not too sure if i'm suppose to say no to it but i think i actually do.I mean, look, i know almost exactly what i'm supposed/have to do .It's only how i'm going about to do it that is mysterious to me.For example, I know that i'm supposed to clear my head, put aside emotions/numb them or no, give them to the Lord so i can focus on the most important thing right now to me, to do His work and study well.Ive not been both very well...wait, maybe i do.Goodness, i think i need to give some credits to my own abilities(God-given of course) some times.Back to the question, yes I do.I think...i know.Like my desire for doing law, like serving in BB now and maybe as officer, like the worship and EE ministries in my church, like mentoring and being mentored, like tutoring in Crescent, like my overwhelming desire now to do something about my God-given ability to sing(I do believe i'm talented..come on, i actually can reach Phantom's christine's notes...with ease actually)...Are these the godly path? That i will do/juggle all of these as well as my family,relationship,friendship problems/trials?

Question 2: why? Because Ive been praying...ive stopped making a prayer item list this week due to well, overwhelming emoness and the refusal to do so. However, i've not forgotten them in my thoughts..and now, i pray silently to God anytime and anywhere.Thats the joy of walking everyday with Him, that you can say a prayer anytime you feel the need to, on the bus, on the streets, in school and even when talkin to people.Prayers are my words to the Lord, and hence, they are at my discretion to be open or close about it. Some of the prayers are written here to this blog, because i thought i dont mind people reading them, but many more are in my prayer book and with God, because they are meant to be for Him only and maybe, one day, someday, I'll let someone read my prayer book.It's a precious book to me.

Why not?They are a clutter of activities, of well programs.Do I spare a thought for the ones i hold dear when i list the things i have to do?Probably yes and no at the same time.I'm a workaholic, i will not deny it and everyone..almost everyone who knows me agrees.It used to be something i was quite fond of but now its scaring me to death sometimes. I could go on and on and well, on for hours without break and my mind so focused i would block all emotions/thoughts deemed as irritants or disturbances. It hurts a lot of people before, and it is hurting people even now.Ministries are ministries...but if they are just a series of works to hide one's feelings and pain and whats not i'm feeling, are they worth doing?Then again, God is guiding, in my failures He had triumphed.In the darkness of my soul He had lit an illuminating light, however minute or flickering, the light still shines. So Lord, you are in control again.you are the one in the driver's seat.You and I have shaken the Roman's handshake, that if I let go you would still hang on to me.Lord your comfort and mercies are overflowing despite Satan's relentless ways.You love me, but you love those around me too.you love the unloved, the forsaken by the societies and communities. You died for them, you were found with them while you are here on this earth.Lord, give the strength i need to love them and in my suffering, may your love and glory be shown because I could never do this without you.Lord, only You know.Only You.

Keep your eyes on God's road.

I found my favourite writer in Our Journey's blog.Blogs exist for a reason- to communicate-to the inner soul of oneself or to a higher being or to loved ones that want to know or simply, to the wandering souls who are searching for something on this WWW.

I want to abandon this blog.But, my encouragement for continuing it is that this could be a place someone chances upon and find something they can make use of. Perchance my more humble hope is that i would actually break the pattern of blogging for 5 months and stop...every year now.haha.

Oh I find meaning in reading my past entries.The poems...wow..haha i'm amazed by my own abilities.I dont recall writing them but yeah, they are really not bad considering i was sec 2 or 3 then.Like more things like...i actually heard of sam chan and russel chan through a blog and now to realise God let me meet the person in real life and serving the Lord in the same CCA...

More stories...some time..soon.I'm very convicted now i should give a testimony during PAT.We shall see how.

I've suffered much for BB, physical,emotional and mental.Many a times i asked myself why am i here when i dont even feel appreciated but even persecuted and discriminated.Why Lord oh why?? The reasons are above...the reason is that God calls me here and I could use my gifts in more ways than ive ever known, that I can touch the lives of the Boys by being just myself(hyper,siao,mad,strict...blah blah blah) by just serving and going through what they go through(i really sympathise with them a lot).I have learnt much from my church and God calls me here to use what I've learnt to bless the people around me and be blessed in turn.The Boys, by being just who they are, are a blessing to me.Thank you Lord, for the friends, for the Officers, for the Boys..for the Female Primers especially( we are quite an awesome bunch dont ya think??=))Let me love,Lord, let me carry on, let me carry this cross/burden and move along Your road, let me never give up on what you have set my heart to,let me do all things not for myself but for YOU.

The Servant King
1983 Kingsway's Thankyou MusicWords
Music by Graham Kendrick

From heaven You came, helpless babe
Entered our world, Your glory veiled
Not to be served but to serve
And give Your life that we might live
This is our God, the SERVANT KING;
He calls us now to follow Him
To bring our lives as a daily offering
Of worship to the SERVANT KING.
There in the garden of tears (girls)
My heavy load He chose to bear;
His heart with sorrow was torn,
Yet not my will, but Yours he said.
Come see His hands and his feet,
The scars that speak of sacrifice
Hands that flung stars into space
To cruel nails surrendered
So let us learn now to serve,
And in our lives enthrone Him
Each other's needs to prefer
For it is Christ we're serving

http://www.jamesmacdonald.com/blog/

Acknowledgement: Byle,Ann.Our journey,RBC Ministries, 2007