Friday, June 22, 2007
Random thoughts and unexpected events
I've decided to be colorful for this post. Not exactly to describe my mood but rather the events and random thoughts that just flooded me these few days. Hmm...orange rocks.
The events first.
I have a new cousin. He's born on the 19 of June 2007. His name? Dang Minh Khoi. Not exactly the best name..bleah...I thought it's really ewwww...But then, his sister, sweet sweet sister Bong named him. Sweet.
One of my youth leaders is getting married next month. Karen is kinda the star-youth leader in Ywav. She invited my sister but not me. I think she's gonna invite the whole youth ministry by just annoucing it at one of the Saturdays in the near future haha.It saves her about 80++ invitation cards.Or maybe...on the 2nd thought, she'll give each cell grp a card. Oh well, we'll see. Haha.Hmm...She and Joel, have been together for dunno how long.I would suspect 5 years ++...I've been wondering when they will ring the wedding bell.Hmm...it'll be a fun wedding...because i can finally wear the dress Mom bought.Haha.How's that for being random.
My sister is going back to Vietnam this sunday. I'm going to church alone.Oh well, It's not the first time. In fact its been like that many times, since Dad refuses to go without Mom. Hayz.He's really suffering here because he really misses Mom.On the other hand,I dont really know if their arguing over my airport fiasco has been resolved. I would really hope it is. Going to church alone would also means more travelling time, of which i mostly use to think rather than revise my work.For this sat, with the looming exams, I would think i'll revise. After all, Robert Frost's poems are really taking an effect on me, a good effect. I just realise how excellent they are only when i got to analyse them deeper in details. Mending Wall and After Apple Picking are competiting to be my favourite, although its not very fair since i've not even looked at Woodpile. I'm ignoring Wilfred Owens and Wole Soyinka...the former, I think we've had too much of him and we've done so many practices on him, it would be absurb to test us again. The latter, Mrs Yeo's attitude about him suggested his stuff are too hard to be examined for this CT.But then again, there's always a probability that both will come out.Well, God, You can always choose to surprise me.(does that actually sound rude???)
My house is in a crisis. First the coup de l'electricite and now the coup de l'eau.Maybe it's God reminding us how much we need to treasure the luxury we're living in, not to take for granted the bare necessities that are considered luxuries by many other less unfortunate homes.I'm trying not to be too reflective. Doesn't work.
I talked to a french colleague of my uncle today.He's here for well, business i suppose. They were looking for my dad but my uncle was also introducing me, saying i've been to france and all.So well, I started with Bonjour. Told him about my trip to Bordeaux, to which he asked "hows the wine". haha.I was so fluent I actually surprised myself.Heh..
If you are sick of the monotone i'm using, im sorry. I'm kind of lack emotions at this point. For now...the very emotional parts.Change colour to suit the mood of course.
How's black for my emo musing. I actually have more audience to this blog than i want.But now, I'm just so used to blogging without the concern of this blog being read.Wadeva man...If you wanna read, be my guest...its not like my blog is the most interesting one around and isnt it too depressing for most people???On the other hand, it hides my obvious emotions pretty well. I dont exactly like to state it obviously in black and white...because well...My emotions are for me to know and for you to find out.Period.(God already knows my emotions and its mostly in my prayer book so there you go)
I have NO IDEA why relationship and relationship stuff just keeps coming at me. Oh man, have some thoughts for the lonely won't you...on the note of the lonely,I just remember the last line of AEOP, is "...and the strong must learn to be lonely."Hmm, I actually like it. It's very true don't you think.
I'm just dangerously calm right now. The fact is that my exams are coming in about 72 hours and i've not even finished studying most of the content.I cant really concentrate...and It's history repeating itself.Does it just mean I really didnt learn anything from last year experience after coming back from europe?I hope not. The situation then was different, but then again, we can always find excuses. We human are superb at that. Me? I'll rather put all the fault to myself.Is it the lack of faith or my pessimistic nature extending its wrath, but I dont really have much hope in passing the CT. Where is the passion, fire, determination,unyielding desire to excel i used to have back in sec 4?I could choose to blame it on the mentorship of Erica, but on the other hand, i had an option didn't I? I would hate to think I'm failing because I'm doing God's Work. The irony is too great for me to accept. How God-honoring is one when she's not even trying to glorify Him in the matters supposedly most important to her now?There's the answer i need to give to Charles, which I really don't look forward to. There are also teachers who will just lose all the faith they have in me.So much for having "a lot of potential." But do they know things I'm experiencing?Everything that could have gone wrong has. Every blessing that could have been given has poured out but somehow, I have this overwhelming sense of guilt that i actually just ignored them all and relied on my own strength. Mouth worshipping God, actions don't match. I have no idea how i can try to bring people to Christ when my own personal life doesn't exactly look enticing at this point. Okay...ENOUGH.
Pessimism and negativism have joined forces and extended their wrath beyond my control. It's just ONE exam...but yeah...I'm not thinking so .I'm thinking of the 30% it constitutes to the final grade. I'm thinking of how people actually look at what i do and find it hard to say they want to accept christianity. I'm thinking of what to actually tell my teachers when i come back to Crescent to receive a prize for doing well last year next month. The irony.It's absurd. I'm just lacking so much faith...GOD!ARE YOU THERE!!!ARRGHHHHHHHHH
Okay, on the lighter note, there's BS, prayer meeting, food rationing, REACH service tomorrow. Hmm...haven't gone for food rationing for a really really long time. It's gonna make me think even more..oh man..this is not good...REACH service though, promises to be good. "Freedom within boundaries". Its theme. Such a pity the timing couldn't be anymore inappropriate. I couldnt successfully invite anyone since everybody is busy studying.Another opportunity squandered.I think, I'll revise my EE stuff after exams, after all AIs and IOP are settled. BB though, is getting more exciting and more hectic...hopefully my EE skills will be honed enough for use by then. I'm not going to bother to explain whats EE. I'm blogging for myself anyway.If you are someone reading this, it would be more advisable to ask me about it. If you are in need of some evangelism skills, and desperate to share Christ (all of you reading this blog should be), you should really ask me.I'm more than happy to share.Its a wonderful tool.To give some evidence, I brought 4+ people to Christ using it. I actually lost count.The wonderful thing, and of course, the flip side of the coin...It's hard to follow up people you converted on the streets.
My sister's way of communication to her bf just makes me want to crack up. Okie, it sounds mean, but honestly...its just...WEIRD.It's too formal to begin with...i won't give examples. i think its mean enough for me to actually blog about this. Then again, its a random thought.
More random thought? Hmm...I might consider going back to crescent to help the sec 4s. I'm passing most of my notes to my dear choir buddie, Alpha.Time flies, she's in sec 4. I still remember the day when i was introduced to her in sec 2. She was of course sec 1.Really thank you Lord for such wonderful friendship/mentorship/sisterhood. She really is taking after me..the good..and the bad..heh.Languages and humanities rock.Sciences stone. Choir rules.Ms Tham is ultra cool.Top of the class is a lonely place to be. Failures are inevitable. God is the Ruler of all. Alpha dearie, follow me all the way to IB yeah?? And if you actually do, you'll probably join BB too hahah.
Even more random thoughts?Kenneth lim and I click. I actually thought i wouldn't get along with him and all...but now?Thanking God for such a nice surprise and a very good friend. Law is the possible path. History is the ultimate subject.Math and sciences are evil. God is good all the time.A sense of humor is very much what clicks us though. Hmm...Thank You Lord, for a friend like Kenneth.
Tu me manque.Il y a des choses que je veut te dire.Mais...j'ai peur aussi. Il y a trop de doutes....et alors, je suis desolee.Tu merite mieux mais moi?Je suis pas prete.Je pense trop, c'est que je sais. Les emotions si fortes qu'ils me faisaient pleurer,mais doivaient etre comprime. Je suis trop immature pour ceci.J'ai pas d'emotions a ce moment. Et le plus important?J'ai peur que tu sois blesse.
Songs of the moment:
Though it all
From the inside out
4 in the morning
Enough said.
I've decided to be colorful for this post. Not exactly to describe my mood but rather the events and random thoughts that just flooded me these few days. Hmm...orange rocks.
The events first.
I have a new cousin. He's born on the 19 of June 2007. His name? Dang Minh Khoi. Not exactly the best name..bleah...I thought it's really ewwww...But then, his sister, sweet sweet sister Bong named him. Sweet.
One of my youth leaders is getting married next month. Karen is kinda the star-youth leader in Ywav. She invited my sister but not me. I think she's gonna invite the whole youth ministry by just annoucing it at one of the Saturdays in the near future haha.It saves her about 80++ invitation cards.Or maybe...on the 2nd thought, she'll give each cell grp a card. Oh well, we'll see. Haha.Hmm...She and Joel, have been together for dunno how long.I would suspect 5 years ++...I've been wondering when they will ring the wedding bell.Hmm...it'll be a fun wedding...because i can finally wear the dress Mom bought.Haha.How's that for being random.
My sister is going back to Vietnam this sunday. I'm going to church alone.Oh well, It's not the first time. In fact its been like that many times, since Dad refuses to go without Mom. Hayz.He's really suffering here because he really misses Mom.On the other hand,I dont really know if their arguing over my airport fiasco has been resolved. I would really hope it is. Going to church alone would also means more travelling time, of which i mostly use to think rather than revise my work.For this sat, with the looming exams, I would think i'll revise. After all, Robert Frost's poems are really taking an effect on me, a good effect. I just realise how excellent they are only when i got to analyse them deeper in details. Mending Wall and After Apple Picking are competiting to be my favourite, although its not very fair since i've not even looked at Woodpile. I'm ignoring Wilfred Owens and Wole Soyinka...the former, I think we've had too much of him and we've done so many practices on him, it would be absurb to test us again. The latter, Mrs Yeo's attitude about him suggested his stuff are too hard to be examined for this CT.But then again, there's always a probability that both will come out.Well, God, You can always choose to surprise me.(does that actually sound rude???)
My house is in a crisis. First the coup de l'electricite and now the coup de l'eau.Maybe it's God reminding us how much we need to treasure the luxury we're living in, not to take for granted the bare necessities that are considered luxuries by many other less unfortunate homes.I'm trying not to be too reflective. Doesn't work.
I talked to a french colleague of my uncle today.He's here for well, business i suppose. They were looking for my dad but my uncle was also introducing me, saying i've been to france and all.So well, I started with Bonjour. Told him about my trip to Bordeaux, to which he asked "hows the wine". haha.I was so fluent I actually surprised myself.Heh..
If you are sick of the monotone i'm using, im sorry. I'm kind of lack emotions at this point. For now...the very emotional parts.Change colour to suit the mood of course.
How's black for my emo musing. I actually have more audience to this blog than i want.But now, I'm just so used to blogging without the concern of this blog being read.Wadeva man...If you wanna read, be my guest...its not like my blog is the most interesting one around and isnt it too depressing for most people???On the other hand, it hides my obvious emotions pretty well. I dont exactly like to state it obviously in black and white...because well...My emotions are for me to know and for you to find out.Period.(God already knows my emotions and its mostly in my prayer book so there you go)
I have NO IDEA why relationship and relationship stuff just keeps coming at me. Oh man, have some thoughts for the lonely won't you...on the note of the lonely,I just remember the last line of AEOP, is "...and the strong must learn to be lonely."Hmm, I actually like it. It's very true don't you think.
I'm just dangerously calm right now. The fact is that my exams are coming in about 72 hours and i've not even finished studying most of the content.I cant really concentrate...and It's history repeating itself.Does it just mean I really didnt learn anything from last year experience after coming back from europe?I hope not. The situation then was different, but then again, we can always find excuses. We human are superb at that. Me? I'll rather put all the fault to myself.Is it the lack of faith or my pessimistic nature extending its wrath, but I dont really have much hope in passing the CT. Where is the passion, fire, determination,unyielding desire to excel i used to have back in sec 4?I could choose to blame it on the mentorship of Erica, but on the other hand, i had an option didn't I? I would hate to think I'm failing because I'm doing God's Work. The irony is too great for me to accept. How God-honoring is one when she's not even trying to glorify Him in the matters supposedly most important to her now?There's the answer i need to give to Charles, which I really don't look forward to. There are also teachers who will just lose all the faith they have in me.So much for having "a lot of potential." But do they know things I'm experiencing?Everything that could have gone wrong has. Every blessing that could have been given has poured out but somehow, I have this overwhelming sense of guilt that i actually just ignored them all and relied on my own strength. Mouth worshipping God, actions don't match. I have no idea how i can try to bring people to Christ when my own personal life doesn't exactly look enticing at this point. Okay...ENOUGH.
Pessimism and negativism have joined forces and extended their wrath beyond my control. It's just ONE exam...but yeah...I'm not thinking so .I'm thinking of the 30% it constitutes to the final grade. I'm thinking of how people actually look at what i do and find it hard to say they want to accept christianity. I'm thinking of what to actually tell my teachers when i come back to Crescent to receive a prize for doing well last year next month. The irony.It's absurd. I'm just lacking so much faith...GOD!ARE YOU THERE!!!ARRGHHHHHHHHH
Okay, on the lighter note, there's BS, prayer meeting, food rationing, REACH service tomorrow. Hmm...haven't gone for food rationing for a really really long time. It's gonna make me think even more..oh man..this is not good...REACH service though, promises to be good. "Freedom within boundaries". Its theme. Such a pity the timing couldn't be anymore inappropriate. I couldnt successfully invite anyone since everybody is busy studying.Another opportunity squandered.I think, I'll revise my EE stuff after exams, after all AIs and IOP are settled. BB though, is getting more exciting and more hectic...hopefully my EE skills will be honed enough for use by then. I'm not going to bother to explain whats EE. I'm blogging for myself anyway.If you are someone reading this, it would be more advisable to ask me about it. If you are in need of some evangelism skills, and desperate to share Christ (all of you reading this blog should be), you should really ask me.I'm more than happy to share.Its a wonderful tool.To give some evidence, I brought 4+ people to Christ using it. I actually lost count.The wonderful thing, and of course, the flip side of the coin...It's hard to follow up people you converted on the streets.
My sister's way of communication to her bf just makes me want to crack up. Okie, it sounds mean, but honestly...its just...WEIRD.It's too formal to begin with...i won't give examples. i think its mean enough for me to actually blog about this. Then again, its a random thought.
More random thought? Hmm...I might consider going back to crescent to help the sec 4s. I'm passing most of my notes to my dear choir buddie, Alpha.Time flies, she's in sec 4. I still remember the day when i was introduced to her in sec 2. She was of course sec 1.Really thank you Lord for such wonderful friendship/mentorship/sisterhood. She really is taking after me..the good..and the bad..heh.Languages and humanities rock.Sciences stone. Choir rules.Ms Tham is ultra cool.Top of the class is a lonely place to be. Failures are inevitable. God is the Ruler of all. Alpha dearie, follow me all the way to IB yeah?? And if you actually do, you'll probably join BB too hahah.
Even more random thoughts?Kenneth lim and I click. I actually thought i wouldn't get along with him and all...but now?Thanking God for such a nice surprise and a very good friend. Law is the possible path. History is the ultimate subject.Math and sciences are evil. God is good all the time.A sense of humor is very much what clicks us though. Hmm...Thank You Lord, for a friend like Kenneth.
Tu me manque.Il y a des choses que je veut te dire.Mais...j'ai peur aussi. Il y a trop de doutes....et alors, je suis desolee.Tu merite mieux mais moi?Je suis pas prete.Je pense trop, c'est que je sais. Les emotions si fortes qu'ils me faisaient pleurer,mais doivaient etre comprime. Je suis trop immature pour ceci.J'ai pas d'emotions a ce moment. Et le plus important?J'ai peur que tu sois blesse.
Songs of the moment:
Though it all
From the inside out
4 in the morning
Enough said.
# posted by daydreamer @ 11:32 pm 
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