Wednesday, May 23, 2007
And 5 months on
Wow...It's been one year ago since i last entered an entry here. My blog is literally dead. It's become a little secluded corner on the net...just the way i want it to be =)
I guess thats why i'm returning to it. So few people know about the existence of this blog. No one in ACS knows for sure... those who know can't be bothered to check.What convenience God has given!
Time flies and waits no man.I've said this umpteen times i think.But how can u not ponder on such a simple statement and acknowledge its truth? Its been 5 months since i became a student of ACS(independent) IBPD. Its been 2 terms, a semester...and i only have 7 more to go before the program ends. 7, yes, it's a single digit number.
5 months, so much has happened, so many thoughts, so many wonders, so much grace and so many tears. Yet Time and time again, I thank God for the providence He has in my life, the plans He allowed me to see and the miracles He has performed to remind me of who He is, the all Mighty Savior, God of the heaven and earth. I shall recall the more significant events*whcih i remember) that had happened in ACS. See for yourself the wonders of God's grace
First of all, the fact that I could enter the school is a miracle by itself. Come on, not everyone can claim they made a jump of 31 points in the time span of about 5 months and clinched the most improved student award. I'm still quite in awe of my own achievement. Every time i think about it, I can't stop to wonder what really have i done, what God really has done. It's quite something to boast about eh?
O results was quite disappointing, because its the same as my prelims...how boring can u get anyway.No surprise, the only surprise is prolly the fact that there is no surprise =I Well, whatever it is, it was more than good enough for ACSI. However, it is important to note too that it was the mean average score for the gals in acs =I All the more i didn't feel very good about it =S
I joined BB! It was one of the best decision of my life i think. BB is playing such an important part in my life, i can't think of ACS without it. The routine of parade, the queer, funny, hyper and helpful primers, the ever-caring, sometimes crazy officers, the talks, the drill, the parades(again =p), all seem so very much a part of my life. The initial reason i had chosen to join might not be very biblical, but it was definitely God's plan. After all, No one enters BB by chance.But then ,what makes BB so interesting, is prolly not BB itself, but the scandals and rumors around it haha.I'll elaborate further, don't worry.
I joined choir. yeah no exclamation mark here. I was happy really...i thought choir by itself, without the personalised characteristics of each school, is fun no matter what. I was very wrong i guess. actually, it was fun. It was really something I look forward to for the first half, before the competitions. When competition starts, when i realised the choir is even screwed up than crescent's 3 years back, when i realised the last min thing it has always been doing, I just found it a chore to come to choir. The music is what drives me really. The people are nice too..and everyone is just there for each other when there's problems, when there was too much pressure. Im glad i stuck with them through and through for the SYF journey.It was something to be remembered for years to come i'm sure.
I loved. Actually, i don't really know if it's love. I wasn't "electrified" by his presence. I just feel an immense sense of happiness when he was around. He owned my happiness, and I'm taking it back...day by day.I don't know if it's love, but I prayed for him to be happy, to be blessed and to walk the path God has directed Him. Despite h Until now, i cannot say with confidence i'm totally over him and yet, i've moved on. When i see him, i still feel very happy. To see his face, to know he's okay. He's still in my prayers and will always be..as all other primers. Loving him taught me much. I guess God achieved his purpose. I worked really hard for BB, i was really tolerant, so tolerant it caught me by surprise...and most important of all, I knew God better. I've dedicated this part of my life to Him. And I realised, God is a selfish God. He wants all of my love, all of it. no more, no less. God wants him to be the very first love of my life...and He will always be.The pain seems all worth it when i know it was for a Godly purpose. All the tears I've shed seem to be redeemed by God's amazing grace. I don't know what i would do, how i would deal with this if He wasn't guiding me. Lord, thank you.
The heart is fragile. I asked God to protect my heart, guard it from unexpected emotional attacks. And yet, the heart still hurts. I don't know if i'm going against God's will. I'm so terribly afraid I am and there's nothing i can do about it. If i'm upsetting God, I will be so overwhelmed by the guilt I won't dare to continue. And the heart will hurt again.
Okie, i'll stop here. my parents are home!!my mom is home!! =DDD Gonna spend time with her =) see ya later =)
I guess thats why i'm returning to it. So few people know about the existence of this blog. No one in ACS knows for sure... those who know can't be bothered to check.What convenience God has given!
Time flies and waits no man.I've said this umpteen times i think.But how can u not ponder on such a simple statement and acknowledge its truth? Its been 5 months since i became a student of ACS(independent) IBPD. Its been 2 terms, a semester...and i only have 7 more to go before the program ends. 7, yes, it's a single digit number.
5 months, so much has happened, so many thoughts, so many wonders, so much grace and so many tears. Yet Time and time again, I thank God for the providence He has in my life, the plans He allowed me to see and the miracles He has performed to remind me of who He is, the all Mighty Savior, God of the heaven and earth. I shall recall the more significant events*whcih i remember) that had happened in ACS. See for yourself the wonders of God's grace
First of all, the fact that I could enter the school is a miracle by itself. Come on, not everyone can claim they made a jump of 31 points in the time span of about 5 months and clinched the most improved student award. I'm still quite in awe of my own achievement. Every time i think about it, I can't stop to wonder what really have i done, what God really has done. It's quite something to boast about eh?
O results was quite disappointing, because its the same as my prelims...how boring can u get anyway.No surprise, the only surprise is prolly the fact that there is no surprise =I Well, whatever it is, it was more than good enough for ACSI. However, it is important to note too that it was the mean average score for the gals in acs =I All the more i didn't feel very good about it =S
I joined BB! It was one of the best decision of my life i think. BB is playing such an important part in my life, i can't think of ACS without it. The routine of parade, the queer, funny, hyper and helpful primers, the ever-caring, sometimes crazy officers, the talks, the drill, the parades(again =p), all seem so very much a part of my life. The initial reason i had chosen to join might not be very biblical, but it was definitely God's plan. After all, No one enters BB by chance.But then ,what makes BB so interesting, is prolly not BB itself, but the scandals and rumors around it haha.I'll elaborate further, don't worry.
I joined choir. yeah no exclamation mark here. I was happy really...i thought choir by itself, without the personalised characteristics of each school, is fun no matter what. I was very wrong i guess. actually, it was fun. It was really something I look forward to for the first half, before the competitions. When competition starts, when i realised the choir is even screwed up than crescent's 3 years back, when i realised the last min thing it has always been doing, I just found it a chore to come to choir. The music is what drives me really. The people are nice too..and everyone is just there for each other when there's problems, when there was too much pressure. Im glad i stuck with them through and through for the SYF journey.It was something to be remembered for years to come i'm sure.
I loved. Actually, i don't really know if it's love. I wasn't "electrified" by his presence. I just feel an immense sense of happiness when he was around. He owned my happiness, and I'm taking it back...day by day.I don't know if it's love, but I prayed for him to be happy, to be blessed and to walk the path God has directed Him. Despite h Until now, i cannot say with confidence i'm totally over him and yet, i've moved on. When i see him, i still feel very happy. To see his face, to know he's okay. He's still in my prayers and will always be..as all other primers. Loving him taught me much. I guess God achieved his purpose. I worked really hard for BB, i was really tolerant, so tolerant it caught me by surprise...and most important of all, I knew God better. I've dedicated this part of my life to Him. And I realised, God is a selfish God. He wants all of my love, all of it. no more, no less. God wants him to be the very first love of my life...and He will always be.The pain seems all worth it when i know it was for a Godly purpose. All the tears I've shed seem to be redeemed by God's amazing grace. I don't know what i would do, how i would deal with this if He wasn't guiding me. Lord, thank you.
The heart is fragile. I asked God to protect my heart, guard it from unexpected emotional attacks. And yet, the heart still hurts. I don't know if i'm going against God's will. I'm so terribly afraid I am and there's nothing i can do about it. If i'm upsetting God, I will be so overwhelmed by the guilt I won't dare to continue. And the heart will hurt again.
Okie, i'll stop here. my parents are home!!my mom is home!! =DDD Gonna spend time with her =) see ya later =)
# posted by daydreamer @ 12:11 am 
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]