Friday, March 11, 2005
Only God knows
Wow, it's been really some time since i update this thing.Sighz..to busy to do anything these days.Sec 3 life is really tough, and for me, it's a winding road to success.I did quite badly for common tests.I think it is true that Ive put too much pressure on myself to do well;but that's really not the only factor.I have so little time to do even homework.I'm just exhausted whenever I reached home.I just wish i have a bit more time,and more energy too.I have not neglected God though.I'm proud of this.He's real when we are in our darkest moments.I don't know what He knows...and i'll just have to follow the path He will direct me to.
I'm disappointed with common tests result still as i type this.I guess i have to really focus a lot more next time and work much harder.I truly want my A1s back.
There were a lot of thinking process for me the last few weeks.Ive been thinking about stuff...like Ming wei leaving, like my self doubt of ability,like cca..among other things.The one that preoccupies the most of my thoughts is of cuz ming wei issue.There is nothing i can do really.I just realised that this is in God's divine which i,with my human's capacity of understanding, cannot comprehend.It's just so..hard though.It seems like i never anticipated this, and it just happened.Soon enough he will be gone.I wont be talkin to him the way i am now.No more midnight smses...I really will lose a pillar of strength.
I have also thought, its better i let him go...emotionally as well.If i hang on to those feelings, i might be imprisoned by them in thoughts, and that will lead the downfall of everything else.Am I that "career" oriented?Maybe..then again, maybe not.I just believe that he will find someone else, because no matter how special i can be.I'm only virtually "there".And it hurts to know,i can never move beyond that line.Then again, it's life...
kkz..enough...i'm going to sleep.need lots of it to sing well tmr.Quite nervous but should be ok...and also, first time i will visit fairfield methodist sec school (",)
I'm disappointed with common tests result still as i type this.I guess i have to really focus a lot more next time and work much harder.I truly want my A1s back.
There were a lot of thinking process for me the last few weeks.Ive been thinking about stuff...like Ming wei leaving, like my self doubt of ability,like cca..among other things.The one that preoccupies the most of my thoughts is of cuz ming wei issue.There is nothing i can do really.I just realised that this is in God's divine which i,with my human's capacity of understanding, cannot comprehend.It's just so..hard though.It seems like i never anticipated this, and it just happened.Soon enough he will be gone.I wont be talkin to him the way i am now.No more midnight smses...I really will lose a pillar of strength.
I have also thought, its better i let him go...emotionally as well.If i hang on to those feelings, i might be imprisoned by them in thoughts, and that will lead the downfall of everything else.Am I that "career" oriented?Maybe..then again, maybe not.I just believe that he will find someone else, because no matter how special i can be.I'm only virtually "there".And it hurts to know,i can never move beyond that line.Then again, it's life...
kkz..enough...i'm going to sleep.need lots of it to sing well tmr.Quite nervous but should be ok...and also, first time i will visit fairfield methodist sec school (",)
# posted by daydreamer @ 10:54 pm 
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