Time to fly

I have changed my blog skin.Not the best i could have chosen, but still, it's the theme and colour of my desire.It's much brighter, much more cheerful and there is a sense of peace when i look at it.The other skin was too dark...and i guess it worsens my mood when i visited it.Oh well, that's all about it for the skin.

The past few days had been very hectic and depressing for me.I'm supposed to be happy, but i'm really not.I feel rotten inside, i feel like the smiles i put up in choir are fake and my cheerfulness is short-lived.I can't understand the complexity of the matter(or izzit too simple to understand?) but i just want to be out of it all.I want to walk away from them all.No more candles, cakes or presents.Nothing...just peace, tranquility and myself,and God.

Just had a row with Mom..on something freaking stupid.I shant be bothered to mention it here.I cant believe we actually argued about that,and yeah..what a damn freaking nice,wonderful,happy birthday i had.I cant forget it, i cant really.I just wished my bday had never come...just wish i have no bdays honestly.why does it have to sux so much on the "sweet" 16.

For this whole weekend, I'll devote myself to studies and preparation for the tests and coming exams.I'm not ready at all for the tests.I just feel like i need to be in control of school life, and i am not.I'm exhausted emotionally, physically and mentally.i just want a break...from it all...

It has been an emotional roller coaster ride these few days too.Ive been completely out of control of my feelings, and my thoughts sometimes.I told Ms Goon in my journal once that i'm finding this rhythm of life soon.I was lying then.I did not,and will I? I dont know.

Then, there were a few ups,like choir going well and myself being able to understand schoolwork more.One more thing,I'm in close contact with God..but sometimes, i just dont see Him there,or maybe I have never looked hard enough to search for Him,or is He carrying me through like the story in footprints?Possible...

Okie,i actually put an update quite long the other day,but blogger just freaking screwd the whole thing and i didnt see the entry published.Oh well...blogger is screwed sometimes.
Thats all about all for now.SYF is coming real soon blah...i;m excited,nervous and yeah...and those emotions you feel before a test and a performance.Also, i'm not too sure if i will get selected for the france exchange trip.I really hope I do.But there is no guarantee success after that interview, in which i basically screwed up the french part,what the hell right...I practise in my head quite a lot of those OTHER questions and none came out.Very unexpected stuff were asked instead.Never mind, what's under the bridge should be let go.And if I dont get to go, i'll go somewhere else.Yupz..

kkz..really Good bye here.I need to study as well.My heachache has finally subsided and almost disappeared.time to MUG. = s