Wednesday, May 30, 2007
WOW-Bintan Day 1 (24/5/07)
WOW-Bintan, INDONESIA 2007 DAY 1 (24/507)
I started the day with 4 hours of sleep from the night before. Somehow, I felt really energised, super energised to be exact. Haha, maybe it was just the excitement of WOW that hyped me up. The ferry ride, which took about 1h 40 mins was clustered with gossipping, surprises and a lot of laughter and emoing. When the boat's engines just started, a man made a big fuss about changing seats with yuen hao and that led to a heated argument between him and (ironically) the boat authorities. It was really uncalled for and surprising in the sense that they bothered to make a huge mountain out of such a mole hill for us. Oh well, it was definitely a memorable start to the trip.
we had lunch near the orphanage. The food was really not bad, all spicy and in small plates of small portions, a lot of varieties. I managed to eat quite a bit. It is worth mentioning that our permanent bus for the trip is at the state of beyond redemption. It had no air-con, lousy cuisioned very small seats, a blocked ventilator and ants crwaling on the bus floor. Oh well, we didnt expect luxury. What made our day was definitely the warm welcome we received from the kids at the orphanage. Dressed in neat yellow traditional indonesian costumes, they lined up along the tiny pathway playing drums, singing and clapping when the bus arrived. They looked so happy to see us, faces of anticipation and excitement crammed againsts each other to get a better look of us. That really touched my heart. That's not all they prepared though. They performed about 5 items , each lasting 5-7 mins of dance and songs for us. They were good. A permanent smile was greased on my lips as i watched all of them performing with such enthusiasm and joy. It was just very heart-warming. They had so little to offer in physical materials but so much more in friendship and hospitality. So much that it made all of us feel really embarrassed cos we didnt prepare anything. However, thanks to the aplenty musical talents in our class, we put up a really impromptu show, starring matthew ge and the guitar, lucy with juggling, myself, junen and edmund with a song(accompagnied by Bert and Ian)
All in all it went well until we inspected the rooms we are about to paint and find out it was really in a very bad condition. I expected them to be in a dismal state but i didnt expect this appalling conditions. It made me feel very blessed and at the same time, there was a tremendous sense of sympathy for these kids. I was determined to shape up their rooms.
Dinner was, well, not too bad except it was a bit too little and in the end, all of us ended up eating cup noodles as supper. There was prayer meeting, It was really not bad, Worship was not exactly revival material but it was good enough to convict my heart that our class was committed, had strong christians and are going to be a good bunch to work with. The prayers were sincere, or at least sounded sincere to me. I felt good all in all. We stayed there a while to watch the result of american idol. It was obvious that Jordan would win though. A well-deserved win.
It would be such an injustice not to mention that the girls played an impressive number of rounds of bridge and taiti. I was ultimate ownage hahaha =PP Jeanette and I formed a strong Bolsheviks alliance that led to ultra ultimate ownage hehehe. We made lots of noise and had tonnes of fun =D Cards playing continued into the night, accompagnied by music from 3 different MP3 players, out of which, mine was found to be the most appropriate =))
okie..isnt this a bit too lonng???yeah...Day 2 will be shorter =))
DAY 2 (25/5)
I'm going to skip all the litle details cos i'm already behind in my reflections and i still have my QT to do.
We went to the orphanage in the morning. It was really quite chaotic. First, we were told that they could not find the paint brushes and rollers. There was a frenzy of activties going as people did not know what they had to do. In the end, after much negotiating, discussion and calls for manpower, we managed to get started with scrubbing the walls of the different rooms as well as toilets. There were really an underutilisation of factos of production cos there were too many people slacking and few people slugging it out. One of them was me. There was paint everywhere on my body, from head to toe, literally.
We had lunch at the orphanage which was quite unexpected cos we didn't know it was in their budget to provide lunch for us. Anyway, lunch was not bad at all, especially the cold orange cordial..oh man it had never tasted so good before.Then we headed to Loola, another resort/chalet on the sea for activities. It really compensated for all the frustration of the first hald of the day. We did obstacle course, in which i was quite proud of myself for almost completing it. At least i conquered my fear of height. However, the obstacle course really strained my arm muscles and by the time we reached the rock climbing wall my arm muscles really refused to bug. I went up half way and had to come down. The only girl in our grp who managed to reach the top was jeanette =D No surprise eh? =P Then, we reached the highlight of the day, flying fox. I was quite scared at first but after a few girls went(alyssha, jeanette and lee min respectively) i was encouraged enough and went ahead with it. I screamed a little at the beginning but in the end, it was really enjoyable haha. I wanted to do it again! =)) Well, when everybody had tried, we headed back to Acro resort in the same old tattered but faithful bus. i shall end it here for the day. Too tired, and too much more to write if i let my emotions take over. I just want to say this, I missed him quite terribly the first night. but its really getting better. distance really makes the hearts grow fonder.i secretly hope, somehow, some way, hes thinking of me too...
This verse spoke to me very strongly about our class and even LDC as I did my QT. since i'm backlogging, i might as well tell you they really did came true(as in the conviction and warning from God were very real) during the ad party of LDC. God is speaking ever so strongly to me like He had never done so before...
"in the same way, faith, if not accompagnied by actions, is dead"-James 2:17
DAY 3 (26/5)
The day started with CIP work at the orphanage again. Today was less messy because people now know more or less their jobs. Wewanted to paint deisgns onto the bigger walls we had whitewashed, so Tsar Nicholas and John Wong and Edmund went to draw and outline the designs. They painted a world map. The Tsar's great architectural skill is to be deeply admired by his fellow comrades for it was quite a masterpiece =) They settled on painting 2 colours, original white and blue fading out to white(John's artistic direction). When it was almost complete (by quite a number of us) it was quite a sight to behold. Everybody seemed happy with it though we didnt have time to finish the effects. Some others (sports grp) went with the kids to the football field to play frisbee and soccer. I think almost every factor of productioni was utilised. However, the time we could at the orphanage was really short. It was just 2 hours and we had to leave in a hurry, abandoning the paint and stuff on the floor without clearing them...We also had just reached the optimum rate when we had to stop. Lunch was at a restaurant next to a shopping mall. Oh yes, 26/5 which meant that the 2 other members of the class would join us during lunch. The day before, i accidentally slipped talkin about Ryan and jeanette when Jeanette was behind me. She almost strangled me to death =P The only feasible/sensible deal was that she could tease me about Gareth for the next few days, to which she agreed at the great amusement of the girls. Therefore, today was supposedly major suaning day for me. I didn't turn out that bad but I think the entire class is now in on it =S Haha I really didn't mind it so much since it's not true anyway. I just kind of think it's not too nice to Gareth since it MIGHT be true for him.
Well ,after their failed attempt to put me and gareth together in the bus, and after a long ride in a bus with supposed air-con that was not working and hence an oven, we reached Loola with all our luggage and stuff. The girls get to pick our chalet first. Since we had 8, we must take the biggest chalet which was unfortunately located next to the teachers' chalet. Oh well, what to do...Anyway, that disappointing first option was completely forgotten when we saw the beauty of the entire structure of the chalets. They are all supported by wooden posts in the sea, linked up by wooden pathways of wooden planks. It was really quite awesome, since it was my first time experiencing this. We were given about 45 mins to settle in. After having decided our sleeping arrangement, we played some stupid "logic" games which have no logics at all and of cuz CARDS =)) Hehehe... The better part of the siesta though was just to sit there, to enjoy the cool sea breeze and admire God's creation of this so ever-amazing earth. More of that soon =)
The activity for the afternoon was just kayaking/canoeing. So
I started the day with 4 hours of sleep from the night before. Somehow, I felt really energised, super energised to be exact. Haha, maybe it was just the excitement of WOW that hyped me up. The ferry ride, which took about 1h 40 mins was clustered with gossipping, surprises and a lot of laughter and emoing. When the boat's engines just started, a man made a big fuss about changing seats with yuen hao and that led to a heated argument between him and (ironically) the boat authorities. It was really uncalled for and surprising in the sense that they bothered to make a huge mountain out of such a mole hill for us. Oh well, it was definitely a memorable start to the trip.
we had lunch near the orphanage. The food was really not bad, all spicy and in small plates of small portions, a lot of varieties. I managed to eat quite a bit. It is worth mentioning that our permanent bus for the trip is at the state of beyond redemption. It had no air-con, lousy cuisioned very small seats, a blocked ventilator and ants crwaling on the bus floor. Oh well, we didnt expect luxury. What made our day was definitely the warm welcome we received from the kids at the orphanage. Dressed in neat yellow traditional indonesian costumes, they lined up along the tiny pathway playing drums, singing and clapping when the bus arrived. They looked so happy to see us, faces of anticipation and excitement crammed againsts each other to get a better look of us. That really touched my heart. That's not all they prepared though. They performed about 5 items , each lasting 5-7 mins of dance and songs for us. They were good. A permanent smile was greased on my lips as i watched all of them performing with such enthusiasm and joy. It was just very heart-warming. They had so little to offer in physical materials but so much more in friendship and hospitality. So much that it made all of us feel really embarrassed cos we didnt prepare anything. However, thanks to the aplenty musical talents in our class, we put up a really impromptu show, starring matthew ge and the guitar, lucy with juggling, myself, junen and edmund with a song(accompagnied by Bert and Ian)
All in all it went well until we inspected the rooms we are about to paint and find out it was really in a very bad condition. I expected them to be in a dismal state but i didnt expect this appalling conditions. It made me feel very blessed and at the same time, there was a tremendous sense of sympathy for these kids. I was determined to shape up their rooms.
Dinner was, well, not too bad except it was a bit too little and in the end, all of us ended up eating cup noodles as supper. There was prayer meeting, It was really not bad, Worship was not exactly revival material but it was good enough to convict my heart that our class was committed, had strong christians and are going to be a good bunch to work with. The prayers were sincere, or at least sounded sincere to me. I felt good all in all. We stayed there a while to watch the result of american idol. It was obvious that Jordan would win though. A well-deserved win.
It would be such an injustice not to mention that the girls played an impressive number of rounds of bridge and taiti. I was ultimate ownage hahaha =PP Jeanette and I formed a strong Bolsheviks alliance that led to ultra ultimate ownage hehehe. We made lots of noise and had tonnes of fun =D Cards playing continued into the night, accompagnied by music from 3 different MP3 players, out of which, mine was found to be the most appropriate =))
okie..isnt this a bit too lonng???yeah...Day 2 will be shorter =))
DAY 2 (25/5)
I'm going to skip all the litle details cos i'm already behind in my reflections and i still have my QT to do.
We went to the orphanage in the morning. It was really quite chaotic. First, we were told that they could not find the paint brushes and rollers. There was a frenzy of activties going as people did not know what they had to do. In the end, after much negotiating, discussion and calls for manpower, we managed to get started with scrubbing the walls of the different rooms as well as toilets. There were really an underutilisation of factos of production cos there were too many people slacking and few people slugging it out. One of them was me. There was paint everywhere on my body, from head to toe, literally.
We had lunch at the orphanage which was quite unexpected cos we didn't know it was in their budget to provide lunch for us. Anyway, lunch was not bad at all, especially the cold orange cordial..oh man it had never tasted so good before.Then we headed to Loola, another resort/chalet on the sea for activities. It really compensated for all the frustration of the first hald of the day. We did obstacle course, in which i was quite proud of myself for almost completing it. At least i conquered my fear of height. However, the obstacle course really strained my arm muscles and by the time we reached the rock climbing wall my arm muscles really refused to bug. I went up half way and had to come down. The only girl in our grp who managed to reach the top was jeanette =D No surprise eh? =P Then, we reached the highlight of the day, flying fox. I was quite scared at first but after a few girls went(alyssha, jeanette and lee min respectively) i was encouraged enough and went ahead with it. I screamed a little at the beginning but in the end, it was really enjoyable haha. I wanted to do it again! =)) Well, when everybody had tried, we headed back to Acro resort in the same old tattered but faithful bus. i shall end it here for the day. Too tired, and too much more to write if i let my emotions take over. I just want to say this, I missed him quite terribly the first night. but its really getting better. distance really makes the hearts grow fonder.i secretly hope, somehow, some way, hes thinking of me too...
This verse spoke to me very strongly about our class and even LDC as I did my QT. since i'm backlogging, i might as well tell you they really did came true(as in the conviction and warning from God were very real) during the ad party of LDC. God is speaking ever so strongly to me like He had never done so before...
"in the same way, faith, if not accompagnied by actions, is dead"-James 2:17
DAY 3 (26/5)
The day started with CIP work at the orphanage again. Today was less messy because people now know more or less their jobs. Wewanted to paint deisgns onto the bigger walls we had whitewashed, so Tsar Nicholas and John Wong and Edmund went to draw and outline the designs. They painted a world map. The Tsar's great architectural skill is to be deeply admired by his fellow comrades for it was quite a masterpiece =) They settled on painting 2 colours, original white and blue fading out to white(John's artistic direction). When it was almost complete (by quite a number of us) it was quite a sight to behold. Everybody seemed happy with it though we didnt have time to finish the effects. Some others (sports grp) went with the kids to the football field to play frisbee and soccer. I think almost every factor of productioni was utilised. However, the time we could at the orphanage was really short. It was just 2 hours and we had to leave in a hurry, abandoning the paint and stuff on the floor without clearing them...We also had just reached the optimum rate when we had to stop. Lunch was at a restaurant next to a shopping mall. Oh yes, 26/5 which meant that the 2 other members of the class would join us during lunch. The day before, i accidentally slipped talkin about Ryan and jeanette when Jeanette was behind me. She almost strangled me to death =P The only feasible/sensible deal was that she could tease me about Gareth for the next few days, to which she agreed at the great amusement of the girls. Therefore, today was supposedly major suaning day for me. I didn't turn out that bad but I think the entire class is now in on it =S Haha I really didn't mind it so much since it's not true anyway. I just kind of think it's not too nice to Gareth since it MIGHT be true for him.
Well ,after their failed attempt to put me and gareth together in the bus, and after a long ride in a bus with supposed air-con that was not working and hence an oven, we reached Loola with all our luggage and stuff. The girls get to pick our chalet first. Since we had 8, we must take the biggest chalet which was unfortunately located next to the teachers' chalet. Oh well, what to do...Anyway, that disappointing first option was completely forgotten when we saw the beauty of the entire structure of the chalets. They are all supported by wooden posts in the sea, linked up by wooden pathways of wooden planks. It was really quite awesome, since it was my first time experiencing this. We were given about 45 mins to settle in. After having decided our sleeping arrangement, we played some stupid "logic" games which have no logics at all and of cuz CARDS =)) Hehehe... The better part of the siesta though was just to sit there, to enjoy the cool sea breeze and admire God's creation of this so ever-amazing earth. More of that soon =)
The activity for the afternoon was just kayaking/canoeing. So
Thursday, May 24, 2007
OEP!
WOOT!I'm excited!I'm about 8 hours i'm departing singapore for indo. ok the location doesnt scream excitement but it's the first time i'm going with my class for so long...and we're doing pretty adventurous stuff..so it should be worth the anticipation =)
I'm just done with packing..more or less...i realised i have 3 trips consecutively to pack for..so i prepared clothes for LDC in advance..the rest of the stuff is also used for this trip so i have to wait. Luckily there is a buffer time of 1 day for me to pack for vietnam and LDC.oh man..i'm in a packing frenzy!HEHE
Mom came back today!!!wee...it totally makes my day...though my day is already quite fantastic =)I never did any work, cleaned up my ultra messy room which i abandoned eons ago, watched Babel, a fantastic movie, and went out to shopping =DD How nice a day can get, esp when others are trapped in the compound of the sch as I roamed freely in the streets =P Not bad, i enjoyed my break.very rare break.
Haha..window shopping was hmm...tempting. So many nice stuff i would love to own. but my bank account is super low in deposits., it made me think twice. I really love this dress and this skirt!Hayz...I can wear them in my dreams i suppose =P so pathetic =S I went to try ben and jerry ice-cream, thanks to my promise to a person. Actually, it was really not bad haha. i liked it!Just that, it was so ex..so i made sure i enjoyed every spoon =P I also like it cos it didnt melt and yeah, it wasn;t as sweet as haagen daz.hmm not bad, Ive found alternatives to Hagen daz, gonna tell mom =PP
I went around Great world city, window shopping. Great world is really still one of the best place.It has all the things i like, and not too crowded, and good food =) After i've gotten my stuff for OEP, i headed to tiong to see the little match girl sales. Not bad, i got myself a short for 24 bucks and it was good materials. I actually wanted the semi-jacket but too bad no more sizes S left. I was a tard too late =P Most of the better stuff were gone by the time i came. But yeah.the discount is like 30% which is a lot so it was worth it. Oh, I stocked up more shower gels from body shop =P I think i'm collecting them rather than buy them for a practical use! i have now about 8 bottles!And i take forever to finish one. But oh well, it was cheap, really cheap, so worth the buy =))
I had a heart to heart talk with mom abt BGR just now. She is so against it =I Well actually she supports Bb BS rule so she asked me to wait till IB is over and then talk. We were also talkin about uni options, and how i'm gonna get boyfriend there...my dad doesnt like the idea of marrying different race so yeah, he said its gonna be very difficult.DUH. I told them to be assured i'll get a singaporean one and won't be an angmoh so they are a bit less worried haha =)) It also means they allow me to go overseas for sure. I'm quite happy about that=))
I'm just done with packing..more or less...i realised i have 3 trips consecutively to pack for..so i prepared clothes for LDC in advance..the rest of the stuff is also used for this trip so i have to wait. Luckily there is a buffer time of 1 day for me to pack for vietnam and LDC.oh man..i'm in a packing frenzy!HEHE
Mom came back today!!!wee...it totally makes my day...though my day is already quite fantastic =)I never did any work, cleaned up my ultra messy room which i abandoned eons ago, watched Babel, a fantastic movie, and went out to shopping =DD How nice a day can get, esp when others are trapped in the compound of the sch as I roamed freely in the streets =P Not bad, i enjoyed my break.very rare break.
Haha..window shopping was hmm...tempting. So many nice stuff i would love to own. but my bank account is super low in deposits., it made me think twice. I really love this dress and this skirt!Hayz...I can wear them in my dreams i suppose =P so pathetic =S I went to try ben and jerry ice-cream, thanks to my promise to a person. Actually, it was really not bad haha. i liked it!Just that, it was so ex..so i made sure i enjoyed every spoon =P I also like it cos it didnt melt and yeah, it wasn;t as sweet as haagen daz.hmm not bad, Ive found alternatives to Hagen daz, gonna tell mom =PP
I went around Great world city, window shopping. Great world is really still one of the best place.It has all the things i like, and not too crowded, and good food =) After i've gotten my stuff for OEP, i headed to tiong to see the little match girl sales. Not bad, i got myself a short for 24 bucks and it was good materials. I actually wanted the semi-jacket but too bad no more sizes S left. I was a tard too late =P Most of the better stuff were gone by the time i came. But yeah.the discount is like 30% which is a lot so it was worth it. Oh, I stocked up more shower gels from body shop =P I think i'm collecting them rather than buy them for a practical use! i have now about 8 bottles!And i take forever to finish one. But oh well, it was cheap, really cheap, so worth the buy =))
I had a heart to heart talk with mom abt BGR just now. She is so against it =I Well actually she supports Bb BS rule so she asked me to wait till IB is over and then talk. We were also talkin about uni options, and how i'm gonna get boyfriend there...my dad doesnt like the idea of marrying different race so yeah, he said its gonna be very difficult.DUH. I told them to be assured i'll get a singaporean one and won't be an angmoh so they are a bit less worried haha =)) It also means they allow me to go overseas for sure. I'm quite happy about that=))
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
And 5 months on
Wow...It's been one year ago since i last entered an entry here. My blog is literally dead. It's become a little secluded corner on the net...just the way i want it to be =)
I guess thats why i'm returning to it. So few people know about the existence of this blog. No one in ACS knows for sure... those who know can't be bothered to check.What convenience God has given!
Time flies and waits no man.I've said this umpteen times i think.But how can u not ponder on such a simple statement and acknowledge its truth? Its been 5 months since i became a student of ACS(independent) IBPD. Its been 2 terms, a semester...and i only have 7 more to go before the program ends. 7, yes, it's a single digit number.
5 months, so much has happened, so many thoughts, so many wonders, so much grace and so many tears. Yet Time and time again, I thank God for the providence He has in my life, the plans He allowed me to see and the miracles He has performed to remind me of who He is, the all Mighty Savior, God of the heaven and earth. I shall recall the more significant events*whcih i remember) that had happened in ACS. See for yourself the wonders of God's grace
First of all, the fact that I could enter the school is a miracle by itself. Come on, not everyone can claim they made a jump of 31 points in the time span of about 5 months and clinched the most improved student award. I'm still quite in awe of my own achievement. Every time i think about it, I can't stop to wonder what really have i done, what God really has done. It's quite something to boast about eh?
O results was quite disappointing, because its the same as my prelims...how boring can u get anyway.No surprise, the only surprise is prolly the fact that there is no surprise =I Well, whatever it is, it was more than good enough for ACSI. However, it is important to note too that it was the mean average score for the gals in acs =I All the more i didn't feel very good about it =S
I joined BB! It was one of the best decision of my life i think. BB is playing such an important part in my life, i can't think of ACS without it. The routine of parade, the queer, funny, hyper and helpful primers, the ever-caring, sometimes crazy officers, the talks, the drill, the parades(again =p), all seem so very much a part of my life. The initial reason i had chosen to join might not be very biblical, but it was definitely God's plan. After all, No one enters BB by chance.But then ,what makes BB so interesting, is prolly not BB itself, but the scandals and rumors around it haha.I'll elaborate further, don't worry.
I joined choir. yeah no exclamation mark here. I was happy really...i thought choir by itself, without the personalised characteristics of each school, is fun no matter what. I was very wrong i guess. actually, it was fun. It was really something I look forward to for the first half, before the competitions. When competition starts, when i realised the choir is even screwed up than crescent's 3 years back, when i realised the last min thing it has always been doing, I just found it a chore to come to choir. The music is what drives me really. The people are nice too..and everyone is just there for each other when there's problems, when there was too much pressure. Im glad i stuck with them through and through for the SYF journey.It was something to be remembered for years to come i'm sure.
I loved. Actually, i don't really know if it's love. I wasn't "electrified" by his presence. I just feel an immense sense of happiness when he was around. He owned my happiness, and I'm taking it back...day by day.I don't know if it's love, but I prayed for him to be happy, to be blessed and to walk the path God has directed Him. Despite h Until now, i cannot say with confidence i'm totally over him and yet, i've moved on. When i see him, i still feel very happy. To see his face, to know he's okay. He's still in my prayers and will always be..as all other primers. Loving him taught me much. I guess God achieved his purpose. I worked really hard for BB, i was really tolerant, so tolerant it caught me by surprise...and most important of all, I knew God better. I've dedicated this part of my life to Him. And I realised, God is a selfish God. He wants all of my love, all of it. no more, no less. God wants him to be the very first love of my life...and He will always be.The pain seems all worth it when i know it was for a Godly purpose. All the tears I've shed seem to be redeemed by God's amazing grace. I don't know what i would do, how i would deal with this if He wasn't guiding me. Lord, thank you.
The heart is fragile. I asked God to protect my heart, guard it from unexpected emotional attacks. And yet, the heart still hurts. I don't know if i'm going against God's will. I'm so terribly afraid I am and there's nothing i can do about it. If i'm upsetting God, I will be so overwhelmed by the guilt I won't dare to continue. And the heart will hurt again.
Okie, i'll stop here. my parents are home!!my mom is home!! =DDD Gonna spend time with her =) see ya later =)
I guess thats why i'm returning to it. So few people know about the existence of this blog. No one in ACS knows for sure... those who know can't be bothered to check.What convenience God has given!
Time flies and waits no man.I've said this umpteen times i think.But how can u not ponder on such a simple statement and acknowledge its truth? Its been 5 months since i became a student of ACS(independent) IBPD. Its been 2 terms, a semester...and i only have 7 more to go before the program ends. 7, yes, it's a single digit number.
5 months, so much has happened, so many thoughts, so many wonders, so much grace and so many tears. Yet Time and time again, I thank God for the providence He has in my life, the plans He allowed me to see and the miracles He has performed to remind me of who He is, the all Mighty Savior, God of the heaven and earth. I shall recall the more significant events*whcih i remember) that had happened in ACS. See for yourself the wonders of God's grace
First of all, the fact that I could enter the school is a miracle by itself. Come on, not everyone can claim they made a jump of 31 points in the time span of about 5 months and clinched the most improved student award. I'm still quite in awe of my own achievement. Every time i think about it, I can't stop to wonder what really have i done, what God really has done. It's quite something to boast about eh?
O results was quite disappointing, because its the same as my prelims...how boring can u get anyway.No surprise, the only surprise is prolly the fact that there is no surprise =I Well, whatever it is, it was more than good enough for ACSI. However, it is important to note too that it was the mean average score for the gals in acs =I All the more i didn't feel very good about it =S
I joined BB! It was one of the best decision of my life i think. BB is playing such an important part in my life, i can't think of ACS without it. The routine of parade, the queer, funny, hyper and helpful primers, the ever-caring, sometimes crazy officers, the talks, the drill, the parades(again =p), all seem so very much a part of my life. The initial reason i had chosen to join might not be very biblical, but it was definitely God's plan. After all, No one enters BB by chance.But then ,what makes BB so interesting, is prolly not BB itself, but the scandals and rumors around it haha.I'll elaborate further, don't worry.
I joined choir. yeah no exclamation mark here. I was happy really...i thought choir by itself, without the personalised characteristics of each school, is fun no matter what. I was very wrong i guess. actually, it was fun. It was really something I look forward to for the first half, before the competitions. When competition starts, when i realised the choir is even screwed up than crescent's 3 years back, when i realised the last min thing it has always been doing, I just found it a chore to come to choir. The music is what drives me really. The people are nice too..and everyone is just there for each other when there's problems, when there was too much pressure. Im glad i stuck with them through and through for the SYF journey.It was something to be remembered for years to come i'm sure.
I loved. Actually, i don't really know if it's love. I wasn't "electrified" by his presence. I just feel an immense sense of happiness when he was around. He owned my happiness, and I'm taking it back...day by day.I don't know if it's love, but I prayed for him to be happy, to be blessed and to walk the path God has directed Him. Despite h Until now, i cannot say with confidence i'm totally over him and yet, i've moved on. When i see him, i still feel very happy. To see his face, to know he's okay. He's still in my prayers and will always be..as all other primers. Loving him taught me much. I guess God achieved his purpose. I worked really hard for BB, i was really tolerant, so tolerant it caught me by surprise...and most important of all, I knew God better. I've dedicated this part of my life to Him. And I realised, God is a selfish God. He wants all of my love, all of it. no more, no less. God wants him to be the very first love of my life...and He will always be.The pain seems all worth it when i know it was for a Godly purpose. All the tears I've shed seem to be redeemed by God's amazing grace. I don't know what i would do, how i would deal with this if He wasn't guiding me. Lord, thank you.
The heart is fragile. I asked God to protect my heart, guard it from unexpected emotional attacks. And yet, the heart still hurts. I don't know if i'm going against God's will. I'm so terribly afraid I am and there's nothing i can do about it. If i'm upsetting God, I will be so overwhelmed by the guilt I won't dare to continue. And the heart will hurt again.
Okie, i'll stop here. my parents are home!!my mom is home!! =DDD Gonna spend time with her =) see ya later =)
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